A Few Thoughts Before Mother’s Day…

CATEGORIES: General News

As many of you know, last year we had the opportunity to participate in a speaking tour called Time Out for Women. A lot of people assumed we were there to talk about our cookbooks or dinner or something, but we were actually there to talk about motherhood—the expectations we set for ourselves based on what we see on the internet and our own experiences as mothers, and also our experiences with our own moms. Since Mother’s Day is on Sunday, we wanted to share a little of what we talked about last year.  This post is a little different than what we normally talk about around here; but we hope you take the time and enjoy the read, and share it with others if you feel so inclined.

If you spend any amount of time browsing the internet, you know what it takes to be an ideal wife and mother. If you read enough blogs or spend enough time browsing Pinterest, you’ll know that you need to…

*Prepare 3 healthy, homemade, preferably organic meals a day.

*You’ll need an elaborately simple system for folding and organizing your laundry.

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*Due to a system of charts, your house will never be more than 10 minutes away from being company ready.

*You’ll properly display your family with their coordinating heights and ages in a vinyl decal on your minivan.

*You’ll send your daughters to school every day with a different hairdo, most of which involve mastering curling their hair with a flat iron and twisting elaborate shapes into her hair, fastened with giant bows and flowers that you have on a color-coded hair-bow organizer that you made yourself.

*You’ll never buy eggs from the store—if you’re a good mom, you’ll build your own chicken coop in the backyard and paint it a popular Benjamin Moore shade where your free-range chickens can happily lay their organic eggs.

*You’ll have professional portraits taken on a very regular basis. They should always be taken outdoors, either on abandoned rail-road tracks, in front of an abandoned burnt-down graffitied building that’s clearly unsafe for children, out in nature, but with items that don’t naturally occur in nature, like the big velvet couch that mysteriously appeared in the middle of a wheat field.  Bonus points if you get at least one shot with your family holding hands while walking away from the camera.

*You’ll reupholster all your old furniture in funky, hard-to-find fabrics.

*Your kids clothes will be made from your husband’s old work shirts.

*At some point, you’ll consider redecorating your whole house with owls.

*You’ll definitely make all your own baby food because it’s just as easy as buying it at the store, and everyone knows that your babies will grow up with above-average intelligence and be better-looking in adulthood. Because of your homemade baby food.

*And finally, if you don’t simultaneously bargain shop AND shop at Anthropologie, you might as well not shop at all.

We might be guilty of a few of those things, but it’s easy to see how when we start looking around at what everyone else appears to be doing, we can start feeling a little inadequate.  While the internet and social media are amazing sources of inspiration and creativity, they can sometimes serve simply as a reminder of everything we don’t have and aren’t able to accomplish, especially as mothers.  Too often, they overemphasize the good and under-emphasize the bad.  As we peruse the cyber-world, it’s easy to be left with the impression that everyone else is somehow able to accomplish so much more than we are.

We have seen this first-hand when people compare themselves to the very little part of us that appears on the Internet. Somehow, people have gotten the idea that ALL of the meals in our homes look like the ones we post here on the blog.

Our kids always get 27 pancakes with fresh berries on top, we garnish every individual serving, and we certainly serve all of our food on gorgeous plates with coordinating cloth table linens.

Yeah, not so much.  At my house it’s often more a question of, “Hmm…what else could I possibly serve with ranch dressing today?”

And we may or may not be on a first name basis with the drive-through attendants at both Sonic and McDonald’s.

Here’s one of our favorites: a little something I like to call “The 400 Special.”  It’s a great demonstration of the value I place on education and learning in the home.  I send my three young boys to rummage through the freezer and assert their exceptional knowledge of both letters and numbers as they search for anything and everything they can find that says, “bake at 400” on the package.

And because I also value the nutritional content of our family meals, I sometimes put the dino nuggets on lettuce and call it a Crispy Chicken Salad.

The facade of parenting and motherhood faces the same issues on the internet.  When you take a look at blogs and Facebook, you’d think that children are happy and smiling and that all babies lie nakedly wrapped in nets in fur-lined wooden bowls, like nature intended…

But you might not see as many little princesses transforming into evil queens…

Or little Picasos feeling a little too liberal with their definition of ‘artistic expression’

Or your Costco-sized bag of flour being turned into a playground for Bob the Builder and all his friends…

Or your special kitchen “helper” doing lots of “helping”…

Or the little chef “making pancakes” in a household item that in no way resembles an actual cooking item.

(Yes, that is in fact my vacuum.)

The fact is, motherhood is not all sunshine and rainbows.  And life isn’t always bubbly, happy, color-coordinated, and pin-worthy.

Sara

The photo below is my Mother in 1979, holding me, her first daughter.  I often look at this photo and think what an exciting time it must have been in her life.  My parents had just built their first home, in a new city where my Dad would start a job he would excel at for the next 30+ years of life.  She had 2 young children, and would give birth to 2 more in the coming years.  Life was good.

But as hard as we try, we can’t always control every detail of our lives.  My Mom’s life hit some bumpy paths and took unexpected turns.  In her adult years she’s suffered from disease and brain injury that have disabled her over the years.  My mom is a much different woman now than she was when I was a child and as the years go by, my memories of her in her full capacity are largely ones from my childhood.  She started getting sick with a very progressive disease just as I was coming into adulthood.  Knowing a parent when you’re a child yourself is much different than having a relationship with them when you’re an adult, and her life took a drastic turn right at that pivotal time in both of our lives. Today, she is mostly bound to a wheelchair and needs constant care and assistance with basic daily functions.  Even now as I write this blog post, she’s in a hospital, hooked to tubes and pumps and needles.  Her mind is as fragile as her body.  Sometimes she recognizes who I am when I call and sometimes I have to remind her that I’m her daughter.  That my name is Sara.  That I live in Idaho and have three little boys.

I wonder all the time what life would be like had these circumstances been different.  When I see girls my age out to lunch with their Moms at restaurants, or shopping at the mall together, it tugs on my heart a little bit.  I wish I could know the woman she was years ago now that I’m an adult myself.  I’m intrigued by that woman because I’m in her shoes now; I’m a mother.  I’m raising a family and doing all of the things she did when I was young. I want to remember her like that, I want to know her like that.  I want to ask her all about it and hear advice on how to do this mothering thing right.  Now I pour over photographs and memorabilia about her life.  And as I look back on those things and speak with people who have known her for many years, I realize what a smart, capable, and creative woman she was.  When I was a child she was just doing grown-up stuff.  She led complex organizations and planned huge events.  She created ridiculously magical birthday parties for me and my siblings with amazing cakes- and I can’t help but think, how’d she do that?  She didn’t even have Google, let alone Pinterest!  The woman planned neighborhood parties, PTA Fundraisers, and sewed every Halloween costume I ever wore in my entire life.  By the cyber-standards we measure motherhood today, she was a total rock-star of a Mom.

But here’s the thing.  All of those things I just mentioned?  That’s what I remember when I look back at photos.  When in quiet moments I let my mind wander to the things engraved upon my heart, it’s a different set of memories entirely.  I remember as clear as day how she’d let me pull up a chair and play “ice cream man” while she did the dishes.  I remember her “letting” me match all of the socks in the laundry basket and making a game out of it.  I remember the feeling of her hands as they rubbed my back when I was scared at night.  I remember her talking to me and asking me about my day and my life when we’d drive around on endless errands.  I remember her favorite meal of canned tomato soup and slightly burned grilled cheese because she always sat down with me for lunch when we’d have that.  What I remember, what I treasure, are moments stemming from the most mundane moments of motherly duties: laundry, errands, bed time.  What I know now, that I didn’t know then and I don’t think she knew either, was that it was in those simple moments that she taught me how to be a mother.  If there is one thing I could express to her now, and have her truly understand; it’s how grateful I am for that.  For those moments that so perfectly, and unexpectedly,  prepared me to be a Mom.

From my own circumstances, I feel grateful to have a little bit of an enlightened view of what’s important as a child.  When the moments of my life come where I’m flooded with thoughts of self-doubt or inadequacy because I’m most certainly not hand-sewing all of my kids clothes, raising chickens, or planning a perfectly color coordinated birthday party, I take a deep breath and I think of those little moments with my Mom.  Those memories are a constant internal reminder.  Those memories teach me to calm down, slow down, to listen to my kids, to play with my kids, to do whatever it takes to show them in every way possible that they are loved beyond measure.  In the end I think the truth is spoken in one of my favorite quotes:

Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.  -Robert Brault

Kate

My own mom died when I was 9 and there were so many times throughout the years when I wished that she was there, first to see the things that I was doing and then, as I became older (and especially after I became a mom), I wanted her advice, I wanted to know what I was like when I was little, if my kids were like me or if they were just weird (or if those two things aren’t mutually exclusive). Because I was so young when she died, I had a very limited, childlike recollection of who she was and I longed to know her better in a way that my older brother and sisters did.

When my oldest son was about 6 months old, I was going through a rough time adjusting to being a mom for the first time. I didn’t know if the cycle of diapers and naps and feedings and naps and diapers would ever end. Every day looked exactly like the one before it and I was kind of feeling insignificant, like what I was doing didn’t matter.

One day, I opened up my front door and there was a package from my oldest sister. I opened it up and it was every single letter my mom sent my sister when she was serving an 18-month mission for our church years and years before. I spent the next few days reading it, laughing and crying, reading about our family’s highs and lows, realizing that my mom and I write the same and think the same things are funny, getting to know her as a person, hearing my mom’s hopes and fears as a mother echoed in my own hopes and fears as a mother, understanding how she felt about me when I was little. Although it was a weekly task, probably something she sometimes viewed as a chore and solely for the benefit of my oldest sister, something she viewed as small and insignificant has become a great comfort and a blessing to me, and I’m grateful for that.

You guys, stop comparing yourselves to everyone around you and the big, fat half-truth that is the Internet.  Celebrate your strengths and try not to worry too much about the ways you feel inadequate to others. If you’re a mom, remember that motherhood is messy and sticky and dirty and sometimes just flat-out hard and heart-breaking, but it’s also beautiful and fulfilling and full of tiny moments that end up being the ones we hold closest to our hearts.

We wish women everywhere, both young and old, with or without children, a beautiful and blessed Mother’s Day!

 

369 comments

  1. Beautiful post. Made me cry. You girls bring a lot of joy and happiness into homes all across the world with your blog, and I bet your moms would both be really proud of you for that.

  2. That was absolutely lovely. Thank you for sharing that Kate and Sara! That was very touching to read – I was moved to tears. Sara, I had no idea your mom has progressed so much in her illness. My thoughts are with both of you this mother’s day. *hugs to both of you!!

  3. I loved this talk when I heard you give it in Phoenix and I adore it even more now as I read it late at night in my living room. Thank you for the reminder of what kind of mom my kids need. I am very guilty of getting caught up in what the internet makes me think I should be, and then I feel guilty and sad when I’m not that. I love this reminder that my kids really don’t care about any of those things, as long as they know they are loved. Thank you for being amazing ladies!

  4. Thanks for putting it in writing for me and reminding me of what I heard and felt twice last year, once on your very first time giving it and once just after that scary moment with Clark. All we can do is the best we can at any given moment, and sometimes that means our best varies from moment to moment.
    But it is okay if my daughter actually does have a chicken coop with free-range chickens, right? And I haven’t begun to decorate anything with owls.

  5. Thank you so much for posting this. How touching, poignant, sweet and heartbreaking all at once. I felt your emotions came through so on point in your writings. This might be the best post you guys have EVER posted on this blog. Thanks for sharing, and introducing us to your mothers and your lives in such a beautiful way.

  6. This is all truth. Every word of it. I have had identical thoughts for many years, and because your reading audience is so large, I am so hopeful that many, many earnest and sincere mothers will take this to heart and be uplifted and feel validated and simply GOOD ENOUGH. Thank you for this.

  7. Thank you for this post…it speaks volumes to me. What amazing mothers and women you both are!! But please do tell how in the world you got those eggs out of the vacuum? ? Loved the flour picture too – all little boys should get a chance to play like that once in awhile!

  8. This post made me cry…but also laugh, especially at that flour picture! My almost-3-year-old dumped out a brand new 5 pound bag of flour on our living room carpet last week, so I am right there with you!

  9. Tears from Missouri this morning. Thank you so much!

    And you 400 special made me laugh. I look at stuff and adjust the baking time/temperature so things all turn out relatively okay all at once. Maybe I’ll start shopping based on cooking temperature. It would make my life easier! 🙂

  10. Great post! One of my hopes is to be able to feel like people can come in to my home at any time, not because it’s company ready but because it probably looks much like theirs does at this very minute and it will feel like home. Complete with papers on the table and dog hair on the rug. THIS is how I live!

    And I love that your mom dressed up with you for Halloween and didn’t even have Google! That made me laugh!

  11. I love this. Such wonderful reminders that being a mother is the most important job we as women can do! Thank you for this reminder this morning.

  12. Totally sobbing, but thank you. Just what I needed to hear. I try to remind myself to just sit and enjoy rocking the little one at night, or watching a movie but my mind is often on what I’m NOT doing. Thank you for everything you guys do!

  13. Beautiful post. I’m not a mother yet, but this post made me think of all the wonderful (little)things my mom did for me. Thanks for this 🙂

  14. I know it’s not your usual fare, but I so enjoyed this post. Thank you, of course, for the awesome recipes and cookbooks and all that. But thank you especially for always keeping it real! Thank you for sharing this part of your lives with a huge, mostly anonymous audience. I so appreciate it!

  15. Wonderful post about your memories, your moms and the less than “perfect” world that we live in. Social media can make us feel inadequate if we let it. I choose not to let it.

    Kate and Sara – Happy Mother’s Day to you!

  16. thanks for this beautiful post and for an honest glimpse into your lives. It’s easy to forget that life on the internet is largely staged and not an honest reflection of anyone’s life. Happy Mother’s Day!

  17. Thank you, thank you, thank you! I was talking to my husband about this exact thing last night and this is just what I needed to read today. I feel like there is too much information out there; it is all so confusing and overwhelming. We just need to figure out what works for our own family and children and be happy with ourselves with the efforts we are making. We need to stop comparing our weaknesses to other people’s strengths.

  18. Sweet post. Laughed & cried. I try to read your blog everyday because I just love it. All of it! So thank you.
    Here’s to wishing all you Mothers out there the Happiest of Mother’s Day!

  19. Beautiful thoughts! I loved hearing them in the TOFW SL broadcast last year and I loved reading them this morning. Happy Mother’s Day to you both and thanks for making the rest of us better moms than we might otherwise be.

  20. Wow. Thank you so much for this. It was wonderful to read this and feel uplifted as a mother. It’s always good to know we’re not alone in our struggles and journey as mothers. Thank you.

  21. this is so wonderful…you have me crying at 8 am! what a way to start my day…remembering that even though motherhood is hard (SO HARD), it’s never insignificant. thank you!

  22. Beautiful post! Thanks so much for sharing! It is way too easy to get caught up in thinking that we need to be SUPER MOM…this was a good reminder that we are all just human and doing the best we can…and that is enough.

  23. Loved this! Shared it on Facebook for all my mom friends to read. Got a giggle out of all the ”perfect mom” examples. Tears ran when you told about receiving your mom’s letters. My own mother has terminal cancer and we’re enjoying every moment we get to spend with her while she still feels well. I know my sisters and I will miss her dearly as we continue on our journey in motherhood. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and insights.

  24. Thanks for this great post! I totally agree with you. The most important thing you can do as a mother in to be an example and to be present.

  25. All too often we compare ourselves to everyone else and forget that we are our own worst enemies. Thank you for the simple reminder that we truly are amazing. I hope we each take several moments to remember that.

  26. Oh, Sara. I just want to give you a hug. I lost my mom last May after a battle with a Dementia/Parkinsons Plus disease that stole her away from us little by little. It is heartbreaking to watch, I know, but the good memories will last forever so hold tight to those!

  27. I love your blog, but this is by far my favorite post ever. Thank you for sharing your stories and thoughts. It made a difference for me today.

  28. Thank you for this beautiful post. We all need a reminder that life for everyone is hard, just in different ways; and that what we “present” isn’t always reality.

  29. That list had me laughing like crazy. I died when you talked about redecorating with owls. I’ve joked that next year it’ll be the elephant or giraffe. So random! I love the message you shared. It’s true, the little things are the biggest things, and that blogging totally has this ‘idealism,’ thing going on that’s not real. I’m pinning this post for the next time I need a ‘motherhood pick me up.’

  30. You girls’ message is what I remember most from TOFW in Dallas. (And that I met y’all as you signed my new cookbook!) Thanks for all you do for your readers. This post is perfect. Love you girls! Happy Mothers Day!!

  31. So beautiful and so true! I keep reminding myself that my kids don’t care if my pictures aren’t hung on the wall yet or that I can’t find the chord to my Body Bugg, all they care about is that I’ve paid attention to them today and spent time with them away from unpacking the house. Thanks for the beautiful reminder!

  32. Wow! This is powerful stuff! Thanks for such a beautiful post! I often compare myself to “internet moms” and often feel a little miserable. After this, not anymore! Again, thanks, this post made my day. And, girls, your moms are gorgeous!

  33. Thank you for your heartfelt post. My mother also passed away when I was young and several times a day I wonder if I’m even close to doing anything right or how much therapy my kids will have to be in when they get older.

    Thanks for reminding me that I don’t have to be perfect and that my children will remember the little moments of life we spend together….

    Happy Mother’s Day to you both!

  34. Wow. Thank you for sharing your hearts and wisdom with us. It is true your mom is amazing Sara. I remember vividly your super-fun special birthday parties, like when we got to splash paint those little bunny rabbits and then tie raffia bows around their colorful necks. Not at all messy-ha! 😉 and your Mom’s überpatience with our dance parties and skits. One of my faves is when our power went out at christmastime, it was cold and dark and your mom invited us to camp out at your house and share Christmas with your family. My Mom and sister still talk about that. Love you sister.

  35. Thank you for a beautiful post. May God bless you as you are such a blessing to us in cyberworld!
    Happy Mother’s Day.

  36. Thank you for the giggle and keeping it real. If the rest of us keep it real, too, we would admit that this stuff happens in all of our houses. I’ve indeed had one of “those” weeks…naughty boys, a mouse running in my van (yes my van), a neighbor dog who bit one of my boys and subsequently the sheriff showing up at my door…but at least the week is almost over! Love your blog!
    Sara

  37. Thanks for posting this. I’m going to have to steal your “400 special” and add it to “favorite can night” and “second chance buffet.”

    Now I’m off to go comb my daughter’s hair while she screams. I may or may not be able to get something in it. I warned her school teachers on back to school night that she was very opinionated about her clothes and hair styles and there was no reason for CPS to get involved. 🙂

  38. Sara, this is one of the most genuine, beautiful and gut-wrenching things I have ever read. I have such vivid memories of your mom and am deeply pained by the hard luck doled out to her, which seems so unfair for such a loving and talented woman. She is beyond blessed to have her incredible family. She certainly raised an angel in you. You are simply spectacular and have the kindest heart ever.

  39. Oh, I love this post! Thank you for sharing. It makes me better appreciate my mother who I am blessed to still have in my life, in full capacity. I am sure that both of your mothers are proud of you. You’re talented and you share those talents, and you’re REAL – and you share that, too. Happy Mother’s Day to both of you!

  40. I was at Time Out for Women this November in Phoenix and heard both of you speak. I cried then and I cried reading your post now, because it was what I needed to hear so desperately. Thank you for sharing your stories, for being honest and reminding me of the joy that is in motherhood, not the perfect motherhood of the internet, but the imperfect joy of raising young children and finding the happy little moments amongst the chaos.

  41. Thank you for writing this. I bawled my eyes out, and I’m not even pregnant (or remotely close to being such). You both have such a way with words. I am so glad I have been following your blog for the last three years or so. Thank you for being so frank, funny, inspiring and beautiful women. Every time I read your posts I wish I were your next door neighbor! You are a positive influence to women around the world. Happy Mother’s Day to YOU!

  42. So wonderful to realize that when you are still young. In my 20’s I worried whether I was doing my mommy job good enough. In my 30’s I had enough children that I realized it was impossible for things to be perfect, but I could still try and do my best. In my 40’s I realized, its all about Love. Nothing else really matters, and in the end, that’s what you want them to remember most anyhow. And in spite of the regular trials and frustrations we still face they all know that I love them unconditionally and all my worries of my 20’s I realize now were just my lack of experience.

  43. Oh, I needed this post so very much. I lost my mom to breast cancer last year and my remarried almost instantly and has a new family. He refers to it as “his new life” and shuts out his “old life” which includes my brothers and I. With Mother’s Day approaching, I feel like an orphan, and I just want to pout and scream.
    This week I’ve fallen victim to the “Oh I’m failing my own family so much!” because dinners have been mostly drive thru, and my kids have been picking clothes out of the unsorted laundry basket all week, and who knows where my daughters tennis shoes are, so she has worn cowboy boots to school all week. But the things I have been busy with, are worth it. Taking one child to therapy, the other to a doc to finally get that birthmark removed that bugs him so much, attending my husbands baseball game.. I just needed some perspective that my family is #1

  44. Made me cry. I know you guys are much more than your lovely, nutritious (and sometimes equally decadent) food. Thanks for sharing your mothers’ hearts with us today.

  45. I loved this post! Thanks for sharing your experiences with your mother. It helps me to value my experience with my mom, even though there are some limitations there sometimes too. Thanks!

  46. Well, thanks for a good morning cry. Especially when I read about Kate’s sister sending the letters. What a sweet act and priceless treasure. Happy Mother’s Day to both if you!

  47. Your post really touched me. I lost my mom just over a month ago – one day before Easter – to cancer. She was my best friend, and I miss her so, so much. On top of that, I’m doing my best to raise my own daughter who’s seven. I adopted her as a single person when she was a baby from Guatemala. She means the world to me, and your advice about enjoying the little things really hit home with me. Way too often, I find myself rushing and scrambling to cross off things on my to-do list, and only half-listening to what she’s saying. Thank you both for reminding me what matters. Your moms both sound like incredibly wonderful and inspiring women; thank you so much for sharing. And Happy Mother’s Day!

  48. That is such a beautiful post, and a great reminder to cherish the small moments, and stop comparing yourself to others. Thank you so much for sharing. Happy Mother’s Day!!

  49. This was a beautiful, beautiful post. 🙂 And by the way, I think “The 400 Special” is awesome awesome and your kids will certainly remember that memory when they are grown!

  50. My children and grownups with children of their own, and I can tell you that the years are going by much too fast. I appreciate your perspectives, share your love of family, and am grateful to be able to “share” you with my own daughters as they learn to be mothers themselves. Happy Mother’s Day to two of my favorite young women.

  51. I have loved your cookbooks and blog and use them on an almost daily basis. I have felt encouraged to reach deep inside my self and come up with a few meal ideas on my own. But this is the best thing that has ever come from you. It speaks of hope and encouragement while also helping us understand that the myth of “super wife and mother” is just that — a big fat myth. Thank you from the bottom of my sometimes very tired heart.

    Ann — wife of Edmund, mother to six and grandmother to six

  52. Thank you for your stories. They really hit close to home. My mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s at a young age and is in the last stages of it now. When you where talking about wishing your mothers where around now to give you advice and be there for you, I could totally relate. You guys are awesome!

  53. Bawww…..Sara and Kate you made me cry! Love you guys, and Sara I love your Mom. She is an AMAZING woman! (Sorry about that vacuum cleaner….hahaha 🙂

  54. This post definitely brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for writing this. It is always a much needed reminder for me, to remember to not compare myself with others, or to want my life to be “perfect” in those standards. Thanks and Happy Mother’s Day!

  55. I heard you give this talk last year in PHX and I still think about what you said there. Thank you for posting this- it still hits home.

  56. Thank you so much for sharing your memories! I am much older than you girls and still miss my mom every day. Your story brought back some memories that I had forgotten (or at the very least was pushed way back in the old brain) and I am thankful for that.
    You made me smile and you made me cry, both of which are completely NORMAL.. lol.
    Happy Mother’s Day to you both.. And to all the other Amazing mothers out there!

  57. I so totally enjoyed reading this between all the other ups and downs from my computer today, while being MOM. (youu might notice my stay was long)

  58. Loved seeing you two when you came to Denver. Thanks for the touching post and a sweet reminder about the joy and sorrow of motherhood.

  59. Thank You! …for sharing your thoughts, for putting into words what I feel every day, for helping me to put life into perspective. It is the little things that count, and you reminded me of that. So, THANK YOU!!!!

  60. Like most others, this had me crying and laughing. I lost my mom when I was 37 (on my birthday) and I miss her all the time. At each stage of our lives, there are things we want to ask our moms, and I’ve gone through many as I’m 53 now. Sarah, I’m so sorry that you have to remind your mom who you are at times. I can’t imagine how difficult that is. I love the pictures you have of her, and the sweet memories you shared. Kate, losing your mom at such a young age had to be so difficult. Bless your sister for sharing those letters with you and giving you the opportunity to have a glimpse of you your mom was. Prayers for a super blessed Mother’s Day to both of you!!

  61. Thank you for writing this… This morning while sitting with your mom at the hospital I read to her your post. It brought tears to her eyes…mine and the nurses in the room. Thankfully your mom is doing better and the staff here just love her. As do I. Your mom wanted me to let you know how much she loves you, and the smile you brought to her face with the love and memories you shared was priceless. Thanks again.

  62. Sara & Kate,
    I heard you speak about this at the Phoenix Time Out For Women this past year. It made me laugh, cry, reflect, relax, & feel gratitude for my extraordinary mother who passed away 3 years ago, & for myself as a mother of 3. Thank you for sharing this again! Wishing you both a wonderful Mother’s Day!

  63. That last part left me crying!

    And oh my gosh, I LOVE the 400 special! If only my boys weren’t allergic to every ingredient in every frozen food known to man. That would totally be me.

  64. Thank you so much for this beautiful post. I find myself worrying a lot about the things I’m not doing as a mom, when in actuality I should just worry about my sweet kids.

  65. I watched you guys do this presentation at TOFW in SLC over the internet. I can still hear you as I read through this. It was what I needed to hear then, and it’s what I need to hear now. Thank you!

    BTW-Kate, you made me tear up as I though about writing weekly letters to my son when he leaves on his mission this summer.

  66. I heard you speak in Denver and you two were my favorite speakers that day. Beautifully written, inspired message; something I feel I need to hear every week. Happy Mother’s day to you!

  67. Thank you for that post! I needed to hear that. It also made me so grateful for my Mom and that she is still a part of my life and I can call her for advice anytime! It made me want to write down memories I have with my Mom (and Dad) so my kids know what they were like before they were Grandma and Grandpa!
    I hope you both have a wonderful Mother’s Day. I love your site and your recipes!

  68. Love this post. Yesterday my 4 yr old son made a huge mess in the bathroom with Gentine Violet. Needless to say I now have to repaint the bathroom. I was feeling like only my kids do these huge messes. So thank you for posting the picture of the eggs in the vacum picture. I was so encouraged by this post. Happy Mothersday to both of you!

  69. I kinda have a thing against Time Out For Women but I went anyway…just to see the two of you and I loved EVERY minute of your presentation. Thanks for being SO real…something we women need more of!

  70. “I remember her favorite meal of canned tomato soup and slightly burned grilled cheese because she always sat down with me for lunch when we’d have that. What I remember, what I treasure, are moments stemming from the most mundane moments of motherly duties: laundry, errands, bed time. What I know now, that I didn’t know then and I don’t think she knew either, was that it was in those simple moments that she taught me how to be a mother.”

    That made me cry. Beautiful, you guys!

  71. Although you say this isn’t the usual fare for your website, I know that reading your blog makes me feel normal, and that I can do the things that are most important, because you guys try to, and you honestly share your lives with us. For me, the recipes are a bonus to the laughs and real life experiences you share with the whole world. So brave of you, and so appreciated. Thank you for being a bright light and real life examples. This post was very beautiful and makes me realize that I need to slow down a little, appreciate my mom & family more, and take the time to build those small moment memories with my kids.

  72. I kind of felt like I knew both of you already, but now I feel like I know you both even better. This is beautiful. Thanks for sharing with us.

  73. I love this post. Also the 400 special makes me laugh so hard. I think I’m going to do it. At least the kids will be able to help make lunch. haha

  74. Thank you for this post! The whole thing! I agree with every bit of it! Often I have thought about cancelling my facebook account because at times I do feel inadequate compared to others. I remind myself there is no such thing as perfect kids, perfect family dynamics, a spotless house 24/7 etc. I enjoy your blog and wish you all a Happy Mother’s day!

  75. Thank you for this. My mom died the day after my 18th birthday and I find that times like these, around mother’s day are the hardest. I am so jealous of everyone else who gets to spend time with their mom while I visit her grave. Its nice to hear that I am not alone here. I can relate to both stories. And I hope that one day when my new husband and I have kids, I keep both your advice in mind.

  76. Sara, I am so sorry to hear about your mother’s difficulties…I have a progressive disease myself and two toddling kids and am so worried about what my health will look like when they are older–if I’ll still be able to walk and play with them at the park or if I will have to roll around in a wheelchair myself. I am happy to know that even if that ends up being the case, that they could still have good memories of me when they were young. Being a mother is the hardest, most rewarding work there is. Thanks for your post.

  77. Sara and Kate, you girls are the best! I loved reading about you personal experie
    nces with your mothers. I was on the verge of tears the whole time. Thank you for posting about your reality because it is hard not to compare myself and what I believe is someone else’s reality.
    Sara, I remember meeting your mom and I fell in love with her. She was such a sweetheart and she took an intrest in me as we talked even though I was a stranger. I didn’t know of her struggles and I’m sorry to hear that she sometimes has bad days where she can’t remember who you are. I just want to (((hug yo both)))!
    Kate, I am so grateful for your older sister’s kind heart. What love she demonstrated when she sent you
    that box of letters. That must have been a real treasure for you. Ladies, thank you so much for all you do. You’ve helped me to build up a confidence in the kitchen. I really enjoy making delicious food and that is what I’ve experienced with every recipe I have tried

  78. Thank you ladies, for putting it all into perspective. I received some advice years ago that I try to adhere to as much as humanly possible . . . Never let your child walk into the room without letting them see on your face how much you love them. That is hard to do sometimes, but I think it speaks to how our children remember the things that may seem small, but aren’t really small at all.

  79. Thank you! This was just what I needed to read as I sit here with my bowl of cereal for lunch, paper clutter everywhere, list of pinterest-worthy things I am in charge of preparing for our area’s Mormon Prom, and listening to my son fighting naptime in his crib. I like that you two are willing to be TRULY real. Your food is amazing, but I wouldn’t read your blog if you weren’t so awesome and inspiring.

  80. Wow. I was crying and laughing reading you guys’ post. SO heartfelt and you totally hit the nail on the head. Reminds me of this post http://rachelmariemartin.blogspot.com/2013/01/why-moms-are-heroes.html?m=1
    Thank you all for sharing your hearts with us & helping us realize that everything doesn’t have to be perfect-as in eating organic food 3 times a day & raising your very own chickens! I am Catholic and during this past Lent I spent way less time on FB & Pinterest & realized how much time I had been wasting ‘pinning’ things I wanted to do with my kids (crafts, homemade play-doh, etc.) but not actually DOING any of those things with my kids! I started doing more with my boys-reading books to them, letting my 2.5 yr old help in the kitchen (even when I’d rather do stuff my way-lol) and I started realizing how precious those moments are with my children and how those are the things that are really important & the things that they will remember years from mow. They’re not going to remember whether or not we have a perfectly decorated ‘Pottery Barn’ house or perfectly decorated cup cakes. Thanks girls for keeping it real! 🙂 Happy Mother’s Day to both of you beautiful mothers!

  81. Wow, what a beautiful post! I got read half and was laughing to myself and thinking I have to share this with my friends! Then I kept reading and started crying and thought: I REALLY have to share this with my friends! Thanks for the beautiful message.

  82. Thank you for the wonderful reminder of what is most important. Motherhood can be tough, but there is no reward like it. I am touched by your stories and view on life. Happy Mother’s Day to you!

  83. Sara and Kate…I love you ladies and I don’t know you personally but I was so so touched by your amazing thoughts about your mothers! I know there are like a million ladies commenting but I hope you read mine too!
    Sara…My mom has MS and its hard to watch her struggle in life but I have fun memories just like you described with your mom!! I’m praying for you! I know how it feels but I’m grateful for your attitude and to think of all the amazing things and memories you did make with your mom!
    Kate, You’re remarks made me cry! I talk often to my sweet Father in law who lost his mom when he was ten years old. He had an amazing mom just like you did! I’m sure she is your angel here on the earth! Thank you the most for reminding me not to compare ourselves with others on the internet! You are wonderful! 🙂
    Love, Brianne

  84. Thank you for that post. I feel like it came at the best time. For me at least. I have often felt overwhelmed with the things I see on the internet and social media and fear that I’m not doing enough. That maybe my kids got the shaft. Even though I know things aren’t always as they seem and there are two sides to every story, it’s nice to hear it from someone else too!

  85. My mom also died when i was young, i totally related to this. Many of my fond memories were everyday activities that i find so dull as an adult. not on a Disney criuse. And, I’ve always loved your blog because of how self-deprecating you are! It is relieving to the rest of us. Plus, it is a comical relief!

  86. Thank you for your very touching experiences and thoughts on Motherhood. I’m older–most of my kids are and I have often thought how grateful I am that I didn’t feel the pressures to accommodate what the “internet” defines as a good mother. However, my daughter who is a young mother most definitely feels the pressure to be a Super Mom even while her boys are young.
    I am going to point her here…this is inspiring and true. Thank you so much.

  87. Thank you for sharing such personal stories about your moms with us. And thank you for revealing that not everyday is a “magazine-cover-kind-of-day,” so that us moms can celebrate all together that we all have a common thread: we may not be perfect but we’re perfect to our kids, in how much we love them, which is what really matters in life!

  88. By the end of this post, I had tears rolling down my cheeks. So, I wandered back up to the part with the eggs in the vacuum cleaner. Thanks for the laugh and the cry ladies!

  89. Wow! I love this post. Thank you for putting so much of yourselves into your writing and sharing it with me. I had tears streaming down my face as I read this. You two are awesome. Thank you for reminding me to not compare myself with anyone else.

  90. Thank you so much for sharing from your hearts. Mother’s Day has been made lighter and more lovely because of what you shared. Thank you!

  91. Amen, sistas!!! I am often told that I am the unachievable standard to match – which is idiotic. I could make a long list of crap that doesn’t get done around here that I sure wish did. Times I’ve dropped the ball (like daily…sorry about coming at the end of your soccer game, little one). All those things. This is an excellent post. Wisdom I needed to hear today. I hate Mother’s Day, actually. I’m avoiding it this year by being on an airplane.

  92. Thank you! As a stay at home mom to two little kids, I can say I frequently feel inadequate and overwhelmed! But I hope at the end of the day my children know that I love them despite not cooking three home meals a day and having peanut butter smeared across my dishwasher! That my daughter realizes instead of doing my own hair I take the time to do hers bc “princess braids” make her happy! Thank you for letting us know you’re “normal” just like us and every day isn’t sunshine and rainbows!

  93. Absolutely lovely post, Kate and Sara. Thank you for the reminder that being a Mom has so much more to do with the little things. I’m a working Mom and I have REALLY struggled with that because I would so much like to be home, and feel that I am lacking so much in my mothering skills because I’m not around enough. There are moments, however, that are sweeter than anything else. When my daughter wants to talk and snuggle every night before bed, or when I hear her prayers at night, that I know that whatever my struggles are, she knows she’s loved, and that’s the most important part. Thanks again for the reminder.

  94. Thank you for this post. It came at the perfect time for me. It has been a rough week and reading this made me feel better. It also reinforced my thought that I should unplug much much more often. Thank you both again for making me feel better about myself and how I am doing as a mother.

  95. I absolutely loved this post. Thank you so much for posting it. I was bawling by the end. Good thing the UPS man came right when I was at the beginning of the post so he didn’t come knocking on the door of some crazy women with tears streaming down a red-blotchy face.

  96. I laughed… I cried… Thank you both for breaking down the real reason for Mother’s Day. It’s hard to see the forest through the trees of dirty diapers and cleaning up messes but this really made me stop and think. Love your blog! Thank you!

  97. Another reason why I love this blog so much…..keeping it real.
    Happy Mother’s Day to you both. Thank you for blessing my life on a very regular basis.

  98. I loved this post ladies! It was a great reminder that Motherhood really is about the little things. I hope to be lucky enough to tell my daughter that when she becomes a Mother….a long, long time from now;)

  99. Just had my 3rd, far from home, super busy husband (resident) and feeling so overwhelmed… Perfect post for my heart today! Thank you both!

  100. Thanks so much. I totally needed those pictures especially. Like, today. I think I’ll just have to have a great weekend now and enjoy my life and kids. You help me keep a lot of perspective.

  101. Thanks for this post. My son decided to turn the upstairs bathroom into a swimming pool last week during his nap. As I sit here typing I can see the cut out holes in the drywall above that now need to be repaired. The eggs in the vacuum cleaner made me feel a little less alone 😉

  102. Thanks for the great post! It was a roller coaster for me! Laughed, cried and reminisced lots. I get to spend the weekend with my wonderful mother who I do NOT take for granted. I take every minute I have with her and gold and it is because of posts like these that compound that gratitude and love. Thanks for sharing your good and bad times. Thanks for keeping it real like you always do. Happy Mother’s Day to both of you!!!

  103. Thank you for a lovely post. I’m a relatively new momma, lucky enough to still have my own momma, but having a child of my own puts the world in a new perspective. You two ladies are pretty awesome, and from all the perfect stuff I see on your site I know you’re the best mommas ever (read with gentle sarcasm, please, though you two do rock!). Happy Mommas Day to everyone!

  104. THANK YOU!!! Not only did I laugh out loud, my husband also laughed out loud….and it’s very hard to get him to laugh at anything posted on FB or pintrest. We especially loved your “400 special” and the picture of your vacuum cleaner filled with eggs. Quite a combo! Happy Mother’s Day to you!!!

  105. Beautiful post ladies! Brought tears to my eyes. You are both amazing tributes to your wonderful mothers. Happy Mother’s Day to you both!!!

  106. Thank you both for your words. I lost my own mother at 14. She was a wonderful fun to be around person, and I want nothing more than to know her as an adult. I never realized all the ways I would continue to miss and long for my mom as the years have gone on. I try not to be jealous of friends, or even strangers, that enjoy relationships and time with their moms. Although I didn’t have a close relationship with my step mom, she passed away last week unexpectedly and I find myself missing her too. Thank you for letting me know I’m not the only one who feels this way. I am so grateful for the chance I have to be a mother. I believe it’s one of the best ways to honor my own, even if my wardrobe seems to be almost exclusively pj’s and showering seems to be optional 🙂

  107. As someone who’s not a mother yet, would you believe that I even berate myself for the lame parties I will inevitably throw my children, how they will never have a homemade dress, etc . . . It’s definitely bad when you feel guilt for things that haven’t even happened yet. Thank you for this reminder and for sharing such personal feelings and insights.

  108. Beautiful post. Sometimes I think I don’t have “time” to be a mom, I constantly tell my kids not right now, or later. I need to start realizing that it’s the little tasks that they’ll remember when they’re older. Thank you for the fresh perspective.

  109. I don’t know either of you girls personally (though I wish I did!), but this made my day. I’m a mom of two rascally young boys, and I go through regular bouts of wondering why I just don’t have the energy, creativity, patience, etc. that I assume every mom around me seems to have. Thank you for the reminder that just about every mom feels that way. Nice to know that you amazing ladies, who often seem to have it all together and lead glamorously exciting lives, are real like the rest of us. Thank you for using paper plates, serving chicken nuggets to your kids, and for sharing your lives and talents with those of us who love to cook and love our kids and families, just like you do!

  110. What an amazing and truthful look into motherhood from both your prospective and looking at your mother’s life. I too remember those moments with my mother and have learned from those moments. They have shaped me into the mother I am. And so glad to know all your meals don’t look perfectly garnished! I’ll admit, I was thinking they were all like that and was feeling guilty!

  111. Excellent post – the dino chicken nuggets on the salad crack me up! And the insight into your own mothers and childhood were beautiful. Happy Mothers Day to you!

  112. You girls are amazing! That just made my day! You have a way of making us laugh and cry all in the same post!! Happy Mother’s Day to you!

  113. What an amazing, inspiring, and uplifting post. I am so glad to see you serve frozen french fries, and dinosaur chicken nuggets. It makes you feels more human (vs. superhuman) as a mom and that everyone has those days when a gourmet home cooked meal isn’t on the table at 6:00. I always love the insights you give into your lives. You are real and I think that is why I love cooking your food the most, because you are real just like the rest of us crazy moms with kids that have dirty faces and holes in their jeans because it is almost summer time and you don’t want to waste your money on new jeans since it will be warm in a few weeks (we hope). Thanks for reminding us to treasure the small moments that seem so insignificant.

  114. Thanks for the post today! It definitely touched my heart. I appreciate you sharing your story with us. Made we laugh, cry, and smile.

  115. This was very touching and made me tear up reading it. Thank you for the wonderful perspective. When I was browsing for a Mother’s Day card, I found one that said, “Behind every great kid is a mom who’s pretty sure she’s screwing it up.” Isn’t that the truth?

  116. Thank you! Lately it seems that the Mother’s Day messages are much m ore fitting for my experience, and I’m grateful for that.

  117. Thanks for the post! I needed this today. It was rough at our house and this was perfect!come back to tofw!! I absolutely loved y’all!

  118. Thank you! As a new mom and starting out in a new job this past week I often feel that inadequacy and remind myself often that all is going to be ok! Luckily, I have my mom to talk to, laugh with, and share frustrations with. She tells me all the time that I am a good mother and for that I am grateful! I love your blog, cookbooks, and recipes! Thanks for sharing your life with all of us!

  119. I’ve never commented on your site, but just wanted to say thank you for sharing that. I definitely needed to hear it, and as much as the Internet can have a negative effect on the way I see myself as a mother, when I read things like this, it gives me hope and appreciation for all the positive, reassuring words that are shared between women via blogs, etc. So thank you and Happy Mother’s Day!

  120. Absolutely beautiful. Thank you, thank you. Tears rolling down my face with a renewed objective to love my children more fully and stop trying to measure up to the “perfect Pinterest mom.”

  121. Thank you for sharing these thoughts. Just what I needed today as I am in the thick of toddler and babyhood. Not always the pretty pinterest picture for sure! Really, it’s almost never that picture. But there are small moments and little things of beauty if I take the time to see them. What a good reminder for me!

  122. I cried laughing. Cried! Those pictures…classic. And your description of what the internet makes us believe we should be doing is basically what I’m always saying. Pinterest is great, but even there, darkness lurks where you least suspect it. “Comparison is the thief of joy.”

    1. Cathie, that is profound. “Comparison is the thief of joy.” So much deep truth in such a simple sentence. Comparison pulls the light away from the gifts we have and makes us see only what we lack. There are times we can use a little comparison to build confidence in what we can accomplish. But like any seasoning, it has to be used sparingly as an accent; too much will ruin the dish.

  123. Wow. Just wow. Thanks so much for this. I don’t feel so bad about our dinner of hot dogs & corn on the cob. I both laughed and cried. Thanks for sharing something so personal and so real. I love you both. Happy Mothers Day to all of the wonderful and very different women of our beautiful world!

  124. You guys both make me cry. Sara, I my oldest daughter was born in 1979 and I swear the dress you have on looks like the little dress I had her and my other 2 daughters blessed in. I am a Grammy now and I still wonder if I did that mothering thing right, but I have 3 beautiful girls who are semi well adjusted, quircky like their mom and the loves of my life.

  125. And oh my gosh…the EGGS in the VACUUM was hysterical! One day when my little boy was little he was being quiet in the shopping cart I went to check out I realized he had cracked all the eggs into the diaper bag while I was shopping.

  126. Thank you so much for this post!!! I really needed that boost. I have recently started back to school again and am already working full time grave yards…I once heard my boys say, “oh she’s sleeping again”. I have worried so much that they wont understand that this short term sacrifice is for them for the long term. It is a nice realization that what is really important is that I love them and that one day they will probably look back with fondness and maybe even a little admiration for my hard work. Thanks girls, you are the best!!

  127. Thank you for this post. I appreciated it as a mother of young children. I love your 400 special dinners–that’s what my family used to call Emilee meals before I learned to cook, largely through blogs like yours.

    But I also want to express my appreciation for you both sharing your stories of your mothers. Sara, though the details were different, my heart went out to you. My mother became seriously ill with mental illness when I was in my late teens–right on the edge between childhood and adulthood and I always wondered what she was really like. She often didn’t remember my name, and I envied those who had weekly calls from their moms. I felt like no one could understand how I felt. But clearly, there are those who do. Thank you for sharing your story, though I’m terribly sorry that you and your family have had to experience this.

  128. What a perfectly beautiful & heartfelt blog post. My favorite one ever…made me cry, and inspired me as well. Thank you both so very much, please keep doing what you do so well…make us laugh, and cry, and enjoy our cooking so much more! Happy, happy Mothers Day to you both!!

  129. You need to put a warning label on this post, especially for those of us already feeling a bit tender-hearted. =) Really, thank you for the wonderful post. Happy Mother’s Day to you both!

  130. This post was So beautiful. One of the many reasons I love this blog! If you ever stop posting I would cry a thousand tears! 🙂 Also, I made this months menu strictly of OBB recipes- so, at least dinner at my house is guaranteed to be pinterest worthy! Well done.

  131. Thanks for the wonderful message! I truly felt the spirit and it touched my heart. Wishing you both a Happy Mother’s Day!

  132. You have both nailed it. That’s all I can say. This theme has been on my mind a lot lately. Have a great Mother’s Day.

  133. Thank you so much for sharing a little bit about yourselves. And thank you for cheering me up and making me feel like a good mom. Life is never really like we plan and never really like we think it is for the person we are looking at. I’m sure both of your mothers are very proud of the mothers and women that you’ve become. Thanks again for letting us into your lives and homes and being such wonderful examples to all us women out here trying to do our best.

  134. Whoa. I pretty much cried right through that. You need to put a “tear-jerker” disclaimer on this one! Thanks for your honest insights.

  135. Perfectly said. What a sweet and gentle reminder to the natural woman in us all to love and nurture those around us. May we all echo your words in our actions.

  136. I got to hear this at TOFW and I loved reading your intro again. Especially the vacuum picture. thanks for the refreshing reminder to keep it real.

  137. I copied this line “babies lie nakedly wrapped in nets in fur-lined wooden bowls, like nature intended…” to comment on because it was so funny, but by the end, I just wanted to give you both teary hugs instead.

  138. That was amazing!! You had me cracking up one minute and crying the next. Thank you both for sharing your hearts with the rest of us. Happy Mother’s Day!

  139. This made me appreciate my mom. Thank you for being honest, open, and supportive of mothers everywhere doing their best. I was touched by your stories.

  140. Thank you both for sharing your stories. I laughed and teared up and smiled. I’m a mom to a 13 yr old girl and a 3 yr old boy, and let me tell you there is never a dull moment in our house. I find myself having very little patience more often than not. This was a nice reminder that I need to slow down and enjoy my family more and to not stress out about the little things. I’m grateful to have a mother in good health, and I really should call her more often then I do. God Bless you both.

  141. Beautiful and exactly what I’ve been writing about (not publicly) lately..there’s too much comparison and idealism right now. You’ve said it perfectly.

  142. That was beautiful! You made me laugh and cry all in one post! Thank you for sharing your personal stories. I’m sending you both cyber hugs! You made me appreciate the time I have with my own Mom even more! Happy Mother’s Day to you both! And thank you so much for sharing the pictures of normal stuff you feed your family!

  143. Absolutely, beautiful, and moving tribute for Mother’s Day. I am using cotton disc to wipe my eyes right now since the tissues went to an “art” project. God has blessed you both greatly and I am glad to be a part of your amazing creations.

    “Mothers are the necessity of invention.” – Calvin

  144. Thank you both for sharing your Moms with us today. It was the reality check I needed today instead of constantly worrying about my son’s grades and my daughter’s fresh behavior and my own mother’s recovery from a recent spinal cord injury. Pintrest can be The Devil sometimes and I am still chuckling over the list, especially the velvet couch thrown into unlikely places!

  145. Thank you thank you thank you! This post brought tears to my eyes and I actually laughed out loud at the eggs in your vacuum. Thank you for being real. Too often we get caught up in what people put out there, the only things they want us to see, their perfection. Thanks for showing us what’s REAL.

  146. I cannot tell you how much I loved this post. My mom died unexpectedly and tragically when I was 20 and newly married, before I had kids and I can so relate to both of you. I would give anything to just sit down and talk mom stuff with her. But like you, I think about the little things I miss about her, laughing with her, how she’d make us feel special, how she was so gracious and sweet and that inspires me to be that way with my own kids and to never take a day for granted. Mother’s Day is always so hard for me but this post lightened the load and let me know that there are others out there just like me. Thank you and happy Mother’s Day to you both.

  147. What touching, beautiful, stories you ladies have shared.
    Just remember that nothing and no one is perfect. Our children certainly don’t expect that, even if we think that is what we have to be for them. My husband and I have successfully raised two children to adulthood (with just a few unavoidable bumps and bruises)with a combination of humor and discipline. I gave up making the hundreds of batches of homemade cookies at every holiday. I found I cared more about that stuff than my family did! Just being together, being silly and having fun brings more joy in life than a clean house, organic, from-scratch meals and unrealistic expectations of yourself. I found that I was my own worst critic!

  148. Beautiful post y’all! Loved the last paragraph especially. Thanks for your honesty and openness!!! Happy Mother’s Day to you both!

  149. Best post EVER!! You both have beautiful Mothers and ARE beautiful Mothers.
    Thank you for the encouragement. especially not to compare ourselves to the picture perfect world we imagine everyone else has..
    Happy Mother’s Day!

  150. Love this. Thank you for sharing your stories and helping to explain this phenomenon so well. I cannot believe those eggs in your vacuume-omg!! I agree we should only be used social media for inspiration and not to make us feel worse about ourselves. Happy Mothers Day and thanks for the delicious recipes, ideas, etc youve given us!

  151. I read this yesterday morning and then again at night before bed. Thanks for sharing such personal insights that help others to gain perspective! I had an experience with one of my kids yesterday that normally would have been quite frustrating, but after reading your post I really felt nothing but gratitude for being able to experience motherhood with all the highs and lows that accompany it.
    Thanks for sharing such personal experiences, your influences are far reaching!

  152. I simply adore you two! I have been following your blog for a few years now and have never commented before. Thank you for this post, it made me feel eternally grateful for my own mother and all those mommy moments that I am now experiencing.

  153. So beautifull written, kate and sara. Thank you for sharing a part of your lives and encouraging us as women to be content with who we are, what we have, and what we do.

  154. Thank for your sweet words about motherhood. There is nothing harder than being a mom, but also nothing greater. We all need to hear this message, so thank you.

  155. Such perfect timing for this post as I hit a wall earlier this week. I was trying too hard to have so many things be perfect in my life all at once – host a “perfect” birthday party for my daughter (way too much planned and not enough time), have my house decorated “perfectly” for the party (trying to go out and buy new decor right before the party to give it an updated look), and buy new “perfectly” stylish clothes (because my old clothes aren’t stylish enough and the few extra pounds I’ve gained have limited my current wardrobe). And it all came crashing down on me while I broke down crying three separate times during the party. As a working mom it’s so hard to balance it all, but at the end of the day I have to remind myself that I’m doing the best I can. I need to lower my expectations, enjoy every minute with my little ones, and accept that cereal for breakfast once a week truly is okay! 🙂

  156. Thank you so much! I tend to dread Mothers Day…its hard to celebrate something that I don’t always feel like I am doing well. Your perspectives are perfect, and well needed. I feel like I just might be able to enjoy myself this Sunday. Thank you again!

  157. I laughed! I cried! My Mom died when I was in my 30’s and I miss her everyday. You guys should be very proud of the mothers you have become. Thank you for the very poignant (and hilarious!) Mother’s Day wish!!

  158. Terrific post. Very real, and for that I am grateful. To be frank, I am getting sick of how the internet and how Pinterest make me feel! I have friends who have stopped reading blogs for that purpose. So, I am grateful for this. Thanks.

  159. This was wonderful. This topic – comparison – has been on my mind for a while. It makes me crazy when I see other women get wrapped up in this and then, inevitably, get down on themselves. I just want to grab their shoulders and say “stop it!” We’re all different. We all have different strengths. We all have different priorities. We all choose to spend our time in different ways. AND we’re all at different points on our individual learning paths. You can’t compare your beginning to someone else’s middle. {I got that one from pinterest. 😉 }

    Thank you so much for sharing this!

    p.s. I literally gasped out loud when I saw the eggs in the vacuum!

  160. Such a sweet reminder. Motherhood is the hardest job I have EVER had by far, but yet so wonderful. I like the math lesson of finding all 400 packages.

  161. What a beautiful blog post! I know this sounds dramatic, but I really cried when I read this post! It really touched my heart and made me remember how important motherhood really is. Thank you also for the reminder to not compare ourselves to others, especially not on the internet! It’s so easy to feel down on yourself when everyone else seems to be living a glorious life based on the pictures on Facebook or instagram. It’s such a wonderful time to be a woman, and we should celebrate that! Anyways, thanks again for your post. Your stories were very inspiring:)

  162. Wow…. such amazing writing! Thank you for sharing your stories with us. Happy Mother’s Day to each of you. May God continue to bless you! 🙂

  163. I’m having a really rough time with my mom right now. I don’t even celebrate Mother’s Day and never have yet I’m a card maker and follow many similar blogs an all the hype has made me very sad. She has chosen to believe that my son isn’t autistic but rather that I am a bad mom and his acting out is a result of bad mothering. Apparently, I don’t pay enough attention to him so he is seeking my attention in any way possible. That’s her opinion anyway. I really felt for you and your stories. I liked the first part of your post especially. I will never be a super mom as I am disabled so all I can do is love them the best I can and teach them to love others and keep them safe.

  164. Thanks for your simple yet profound words. I think, when it comes to motherhood, we need a lot less judgement and a lot more understanding. I appreciate your insights and encouragement to the rest of us.
    A lot of your thoughts reminded me of kind of stories we publish in a magazine I help with, Seeing the Everyday. Check it out and let me know what you think!

  165. My son passed away a year and a half ago…..his widow trying to deal holding a home together for 2 teenage children while depressed with grief.
    Your newletter is just what I needed to show her that things are not always what they seem on the surface. We all have wounds that we carry around despite the smile on our faces. Thank you so much. Happy Mothers Day

  166. I don’t usually comment and the tears are making it difficult! As a mother of 4 her lost her angel mother almost a year ago to that terrible plague we call cancer, thank you so much for the recognition and validation of us everyday moms! Can’t wait to share this will all my friends. Love you both!

  167. Ladies, you made me laugh, you made me cry, you made me appreciate the wonderful mother I have even more. Bless your precious hearts! Thank you so much for sharing such a personal post.

  168. Kate and Sara,
    Thank you so much for sharing your photos and memories with us. You are amazing and beautiful and I can see why when looking at your mom’s. I’m sure they are very proud of you. (Your recipes are great too 🙂

  169. This was your best post ever, and I’ve loved just about all of them. Thank for being funny and fresh and meaningful all in the same post.

  170. This post made me both laugh (all the talk about comparing ourselves to other bloggers and mothers) and cry. I lost my mom in December, and I know that this Mother’s Day will be a difficult one for me. But the memories and love we shared live on, and I’m sure you can relate. Enjoy your day!

  171. I am such a fan of you both (and your recipes :)) and just want to thank you for sharing such sweet and personal things. Thank you for the reminder of what matters most and where our focus as mothers should be. Happy Mother’s Day! 🙂

  172. Kate I was there serving with your sister when you lost your mom. It broke my heart. I’ve never met you but I love you just like I love Annie! You both are amazing women!

  173. I heard recently that we have to be careful with facebook etc… As it makes us compare our behind the scenes to everyone else’s highlight reel! Thankyou for putting it so eliquantly!

  174. Love this. This is the truth-sometimes we get so wrapped up in the internet, that we forget about what is really important. I lost my mom while I was deployed overseas. I just keep her memory alive by making all of her recipes for my guy.

  175. Thank you, ladies, for such a beautiful post! I, like many others here, was moved to tears. Yes! We all need to be better at looking at our strengths and what we ARE doing and not at what we’re not. Made my heart feel warm:)

  176. I also loved this post! Thanks so much for sharing such a touching story that made me cry and laugh at the same time! I really miss my Mom as well, so it was really quite healing to read your wonderful perspective. Thanks for reminding us to treasure the small moments that seem so insignificant.

  177. I saved this post to read today on Mother’s day and I’m so glad I did. What a beautiful message! And I laughed out loud about all the things the Internet makes us think we should be. Isn’t it the truth?! I can tell you both had incredible mothers and that. You haven followed in their footsteps. Thanks for reminding us all that being a mom is about the little things. It also have that Robert Brault quote hanging in my house. I love it! Happy Mother’s Day to both of you!

  178. Wow, this just brought tears to my eyes. What a great post and heart felt stories. Hope you both had a happy Mother’s Day. And thanks for all of the reminders of how different every Mom is 🙂 PS, chicken nuggets on salad is my personal favorite choice of salad toppings. DELISH!!

  179. Your post made me teary eyed. I lost my mom when I was 9 months pregnant with my first boy. I miss her everyday and feel sorry that my kids will never get to meet and be spoiled by the wonderful woman she was.

  180. Thank you so much for the humorous, touching entry.

    I feel so blessed because I live just a few miles away from my 78 year old mother. I’ve softened over the years and find my mom’s way easier to understand. Reading Sara’s essay made me a little sad. Most of my earliest memories of my mom were of her being impatient and short-tempered. Looking back I think that life couldn’t have been easy for her; though at the time I lacked the context to understand and honor her.

    The essays and comments remind me that we’re all her on oor own God given journey, and though they aren’t always visible, we all have burdens to bear. Sharing the good and the bad helps us all treat one another with gentle compassion.

  181. It seems from the comments I’ve seen that my current state of tears is not original, but I guess I shouldn’t feel inadequate about said lack of originality. 🙂 Seriously a beautiful post, something we all need to remember every single day. I admire you two for taking the chance to nourish people’s souls. Is it too much irony if I pin it?

  182. Thanks for this inspiring and lovely post. I’m smiling through tears as I read it. I hope to be a mother in the future. I’ve always had the mindset that people shouldn’t go overboard with providing “stuff” and just focus on loving your kids.

  183. A very beautiful post. Thank you again for a peek into your lives. It helps as I am 5 weeks into raising my first child, Nola. It is good to remember all the times that I remember with my mother did not focus on all those things we think mothers should do but the time she made to share with us doing the simple things. (I wish I did bargain shop and shop at Anthropologie… or at least refinish and curate similar pieces… 🙂 haha). It helps to know that as I navigate these new waters that I have a lot of company. xo, Aimee

  184. I had to tell you how much this post made me smile last week. Mothering is a hard job that seems to never end and it’s sometimes hard to find the successes when you’re tired. Thanks for reminding me that we’re all working hard to just keep going. Y’all are great!

  185. Thank you for this. I’ve recently read other articles that were intended to have the same basic message, but were just so tainted by a snarky, defensive attitude, that their impact was really diminished. You really hit the nail on the head. You’ve inspired me to just make the best of this mothering thing, one day at a time, and enjoy making memories. Thank you.

  186. Thank you so much for putting into words what I feel so often. My mother died when I was 10. So many times I see other women out with their mothers wishing I could also be sharing my adult memories with my mother. So many times I would love to call her and ask her simple questions. Knowing I am not alone helps the hurt I feel in my heart in so many ways.

  187. I just stumbled onto this website via pintrest…. I started out looking at crafts and the next thing I know ….tears are falling down my cheeks. Amazing inspiration you ladies are.
    Thank you for sharing your precious memories.

  188. It had been a few weeks since I had looked at the blog and I found this gem. I have been really struggling with feeling less than the perfect pinterest mom. Thanks for those wonderful things you wrote and the reminder that mom is in the little things.

  189. beautiful post on motherhood. What a sweet surprise after finding Cafe Rio dressing here. Thanks so much for that amazing reminder today!

  190. I read somewhere, and when I say somewhere I am sure I mean Pinterest but it just seems so “overplayed” :), that you may not always know when you inspire someone and I just don’t think that is fair so I wanted to make sure you knew this article touched my heart in so many ways and you have truly inspired me to be the best Mommy I can be to my two kiddos, sometimes you just need a reminder to slow down and stop trying to please the world when you need to be pleasing your kids. It is afterall all about them 🙂 THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!

  191. I came to your site today for a recipe, and stumbled upon this. On this day, where I have really been struggling with feelings of inadequacy, it was exactly what I needed. Thank you for sharing.

  192. Love this post. Thank you for taking some of the pressure off. I never felt so inadequate as a mom before the creation of Pinterest. While I still love seeing all those beautiful photos, it’s nice to know other moms aren’t really as perfect as I imagined they all were. I loved seeing the photos of the “400” food and “crispy chicken salad”. I think we go thru 2 bottles of Ranch per month 🙂 Your post made me laugh and cry… it’s so well written and exactly what every young mother needs to hear. I’m sending this to my friends. Thank you, thank you.

  193. My sister sent me a link to your wonderful post, and I appreciate your beautiful, heartfelt, transparent words and photos so much. Thank you for reminding all of us about what’s truly important. xo

  194. Really can’t thank you ladies enough for this sweet post. First, I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants as I read through your list of what (according to the all-knowing Internet) it takes to be a mom. Then, I cried as I read everything else. I am a stay-at-home mom to three beautiful girls–4, 3 and 1–and I so needed to hear all of this. Some days are so, so good, and others are just…well, not. It can be so very challenging to look around you and feel like you just don’t measure up to anyone, and especially not to what you always hoped you would be like. What a nice reminder to just be who you are and do your best! Thanks for sharing this. I think you guys are awesome, egg-vacuum and all, and I love your blog, cookbooks, and your amazing personalities that shine through both.

  195. I loved reading this. I need reads like this to bring me back to being a “mom”. I sometimes get so wrapped up in EVERYTHING else and every other role that I have in life that I get stressed and I become impatient with the little trying things of my boys. I have 2 sons, both going through very “testy” stages, they’re pushing limits, seeing what they can get away with, testing my consistency of discipline (lol) that when reading this. I’ve realized that I don’t take enough time to be rid of all my other roles just to be their MOM. I’m so worried about having all the stupid food groups in our dinner which I need to have ready BEFORE 6pm AT LEAST ( I work mon-fri 8:30-4:30…right?) I’m quickly moving around the kitchen, refusing them to help “stir” or “pour” because I just want to hurry up and get it done, i’m trying to be a good daughter/sister/friend to people calling and wanting to chat, ignoring the kids as they say “mom look at this, mom look!” as I crabbily tell them “I’m on the phone! Remember to wait your turn!” talking and stirring supper, washing a spoon or whatever utensils for supper, grabbing together a load of laundry to throw in, by the time suppers ready, I’ve plated their dishes (cut it all up etc), trying to HAPPILY encourage them to eat, trying to eat my own plate while i’m still up and down from the table doing WHATEVER else that needs to be done, bathing the kids (hurriedly again I might add), pj’ing them, and then settling them with a cartoon or movie just so that I can now have a shower, answer more phone calls, stress over bills, tuck the kids into bed, stress over work and what needs to be done tomorrow, more bills and money stress, try and get in some nice conversation with my boyfriend (possibly some cuddling while watching tv) then go to bed and the chaos starts all over again then next day!….I love reading about how things USED to be for Mother’s and you’re absolutely right, they were/are total rockstar moms…my mother was a stay at home mother and did all the things you talk about your mother doing and I remember having SO MUCH PATIENCE and TIME for us (there were 4 of us) and I only have TWO and I feel sooo inadequate as their mom! Times have changed so much and I feel sad that for some memories of moms are changing too…if it was financially possible to be a stay at home mom in todays world…I would in a heart beat.

  196. I am a new reader to your blog, and I was trying out some if your spa treatments when I noticed this post. Thank you for sharing. I am a working mother with 6 children of a combined family. I find it so difficult not to feel guilty about what ridiculously strange expectations I create in my mind about what I should be doing because of the Internet. I also have a wonderful mother, and I hope and pray I can be like her someday . I am sorry for your losses and the hard times you are going through . You are both wonderful

  197. I couldn’t have read this at a better time. It’s very hard for me not to get caught up in trying to be the perfect mom in such a materialistic type of way. This made me feel so much better about my life as a new mama. Thank you
    Ox

  198. I just read this post this morning. I know it’s not mothers day – but oh how I needed to hear this post. Thank you both for sharing a bit of your heart – and teaching me what real motherhood is about. I have 7 children (2 of which we adopted from Ghana this past year) and my life has become a whirlwind – mostly of guilt feeling I’m not thriving as a mother. But this was exactly what I needed this morning. Thanks again – to both of you – I’m so grateful! xo

  199. The pictures and quote “find anything at 400” are priceless 🙂
    The equivalent at my house is serving a can of salmon that looks (and smells) like cat food.

    The tomato soup and grilled cheese was my mom’s favorite too – you brought tears to my eyes. You are so lucky to be able to see clearly what matters.

    Thank you for this wonderfully honest post! I think a “reality” post should be a weekly or monthly event! 🙂

  200. Thank you for a beautiful, honest and sincere post. One from the heart, truly. I am left a little perplexed however. Your blog, as so many others out there, is contributing daily to that “oh-so-picture-perfect-super-mom-with-perfect-family-managing-skills” syndrome/phenomena that you are yourself denouncing here above… I absolutely loved your “real life” pictures & anecdotes and i wondered, reading it all, why we can’t we show/see more of those everyday? Why can’t we find a balance out there on the web…? Why do we only show what is pretty and perfect? Most of all, why do we even care or need everything to be so perfect & cute? I have nothing against wanting to set goals for one’s self and pursuing them through endeavours which strive for aesthetic & artistic expression (such as the content you have in your blog) but went we always present only one side, daily, regularly, well, that’s not real, nor balanced… When you say that “motherhood is messy and sticky and dirty and sometimes just flat-out hard and heart-breaking”, we don’t read THAT regularly. But we are fed on the other hand gazillions of pictures of our “oh-so-perfect” brownies and this & that. So please, let’s not blame women out there who are getting depressed/suppressed/angry/discouraged, etc. with the “oh-so-perfect” Internet content when we are feeding them/us exactly that which feeds those emotions in the first place. All i can say is that i had MORE fun reading the “real” stuff in your blog because THAT’s the stuff I CAN RELATE TO, those things are for real, those things made me laugh & cry. Who cares about perfect cheese soufflés?!?!? I couldn’t agree more with a comment from EMILY when she says “i think a “reality” post should be a weekly or monthly event”… I say it should be there everyday, a hint of it at least. Maybe less women would be pissed with the Internet content. Thank you for the very very thought-provoking post.

  201. Sara and Kate,
    Thanks so much for the gift of “remembering” mothers. I was cleaning my bookmarks today and discovered this post through a recipe I saved. Having lost my mother in my 20s (now in my 60s), it is always sweet to remember. She was the glue that held my family of 10 children together. We shall always remember her gifts that last through our lifetime. Thanks at the this time of year, not just at Mother’s Day.
    Donna

  202. Thank you for the thoughts on your own mothers. My own mother’s health declined very rapidly as soon as I entered adulthood. She is also confined to a wheelchair and needs constant care in every aspect. We have come very close to losing her several times and we feel blessed to have her. I fully understand how it tugs at the heart to watch others do the fun things with their moms that I will never do, and to see children playing with their grandmothers in a way my children will never know. It is hard to lose a mother that you still have. To know that my children will never really know her the way I did. I also cherish the letters I received from my mother. She wrote weekly to my brother and sister who were serving missions (pre-email days) while I was in China teaching English. She emailed me every week, but still mailed me those letters just because I wanted them. Thanks for a wonderful reminder about the preciousness of motherhood, and everything that goes along with it!! {I had to compose myself when my plumber called just now!}

  203. THANK YOU!! I needed this for so many reasons. One, for missing my mom who died before i married and started my own family, aching to ask her advice and countless questions and yearning for the friend I would find in her as an adult. Two for turning to the Internet for resources, inspiration, “how to guides” and a lousy substitute for my mom. The end result feeling like a complete failure. Thank you for helping me to heal my mind. It’s the start of my new path to mother with my heart!

  204. Thank you for such a beautiful, heart-felt post which brought me to tears. It is very brave to share such intimate thoughts and feelings with so many people, and I thank you both for being willing to do so in order to uplift all of us mothers who sometimes feel “less than.” What touching words.

  205. LOVED this post. Thank you for being so honest and sharing the hilarious real photos and also the touching stories about your moms. I wish you both happiness and success, and I can’t wait to try one of your recipes.

  206. Not sure how I stumbled upon this post tonight, but I’m so glad I did. After a special kind of craptastic night that began with me actually cooking dinner and concluded with me wallowing in my own tears as I took in the heaps of messes all around me, I really really needed some perspective.

  207. I read this post last year and I thought it was so touching and profound. I forwarded the link to my 6 sisters who had kids of their own because I thought it was important for them to read it. I was unmarried, no kids, no mortgage, and basically carefree. Now a year later, I’m married, 7-months pregnant with my first child, and just paid our first mortgage payment on our new house. Re-reading this post reminded me that it’s not important to set up the Pinterest worthy nursery or keep the house spotless all the time. Thanks ladies. I’ll be sure to read this post again next year as a reminder.

  208. I came on your website for a recipe and saw the “Must Read on Motherhood” link in your sidebar. As the mother of a 7, 4, and 6-month old, I was curious and clicked. Thank you. I laughed and cried, because all of it is so true. Thank you for your humor. Thank you for sharing your stories in such a vulnerable and beautiful way. Thank you for reminding me that it’s often the unphotographed, unplanned moments of connection with our kids that make the greatest impact. I needed to hear this today. God bless you and your families.

  209. Hi. I have just found your blog today (the cream cheese frosting recipe – can I just say ‘Yum!’), but then I clicked on this post. It spoke to me, as hard as I try not to, I compare myself to those ‘perfect’ Moms in blog land. But you are so right – it is the little things and the being there that are important. Thank you, really, thank you.

    Also the pictures of your moms are just beautiful. How you must treasure them.

  210. I bawled like a baby after reading and felt compelled to say thank you for sharing such a well-written and poignant post – clearing from a place of love and respect. I will now share it with as many others as I can 🙂

  211. This is a really great post. Really great. I don’t have kids, but I just got married, and I’m in medical school, and I read WAY too many things on the internet. And I already worry that I won’t be a good enough mom. I feel pretty certain that I can’t ever be as good as my mom was, but also certain that I didn’t set myself up to be the type of mom the internet tells me today’s moms should be. I’m pretty sure I won’t have time to make homemade baby food during residency. I really hope I can remember all of this when the time comes. Thank you.

  212. I don’t know how I ever missed this post but freak. I love you guys. Event Though I might have said I hate you in a previous post

  213. thank you for this. i just spent the last 20 minutes reading this post & crying. your insight into motherhood is wise beyond your years & thank you for sharing. i laughed out loud at the dino salad… it’s totally something i would do. love you both!

  214. Thank you for this post. The first part made me laugh so hard I was doubled over; the second part had me in tears. I guess today I needed a little bit of both, because I feel much better and stronger for having read it. *hugs* to you both.

  215. Today I realized I hadn’t looked at your website in a while and I was in search of new recipes. I have yet to look at one recipe as I’ve read your inspirational stories. Precisely what I must have needed today. I relate so much to both of your stories, I’m in tears. I had a rockstar mom, who did her best to raise her kids, but then she died when I was 25. So many times I’ve felt I just needed my mom to talk through this whole motherhood thing, to ask if I did that as a child, to ask how to raise twins like she did when I just feel crazy. I miss her when I see other moms/ grandmas with their daughters/granddaughters. Although I know I’m not alone in my plight, it’s nice to hear I’m not alone. I’m sorry that you don’t have your moms to help through this part of life, at least not in body, but you guys are amazing. Thanks for inspiring me today.

  216. My own mother died, unexpectedly, just a few days after this post. I’ve been feeling really sorry for myself again lately that she left me when I was married for only a few months and that I had moved closer to her only a few weeks before she died. It stings. It frustrates me. She should be here, and what will I ever do if I have kids and she’s not here? She was my best friend. I am reminded daily on Facebook (I know, that’s the way Facebook is) that other mothers are with their daughters, taking them shopping, taking them to lunch, laughing on the phone, and being there for them… and mine isn’t. I know, it’s not the best attitude to have, but it is what it is. I never claimed to be a mature 31 year old in some respects. 😉 Anyway, I stumbled on this and it helped me a lot. We don’t always get what we plan for in life, including having a mom around, but a blessing in itself is to have mothers we love and miss so much. Happy Mother’s Day to y’all, in a few short weeks.

  217. Wow. I happened to find your blog by accident but after reading it, I too cried and laughed at your experiences as a mom. I was so very fortunate to have my mom with me until her 83 year. And fortunate too to be able to care for her the last nine years of her life. She was a single mother from about the time me and my is sister were in high school. All the wonderful things she taught us, she did without preaching but by example. Like how to pay your bills on time and to treat others with respect and dignity. When I see or learn of a single mom trying to work and raise her children my heart goes out to her and I recall my mom, the most wonderful mother in the world. Even though I’m now 77, I still recall the wonderful things our mother did for us that did not involve money or material things. So thank you Sara and Kate for sharing.

  218. Sara… Your mom is my generation. I had MY first child in 1979…. Those photos remind me of raising my 4 children…. Best years of my life. And things WERE simpler then. My friends and neighbors were my support system. We spoke face to face every day. God bless your mom!
    Thank you for your lovely blog. You touched a lot of women’s hearts.

  219. Sara, I know that you wrote this beautiful tribute to your Mom a while ago. I grew up with your mom. We were girl scouts together, laughed in church classes together (and got in trouble a time or two), we spent many vacations in Las Vegas with your grandma and with your grandparents in Reno. And we roomed together our freshman year at BYU. The years and the miles separated us and our large growing families didn’t allow for much visiting but I always tried to remember Kathy on her birthday. Just know that your mother influenced many for good, including myself, as we were growing up. I love her and will miss her. I hope I get the chance to meet you someday. By the way, I had a fun lunch with your grandma today and Susan. We shared our memories. God Bless Your Mom.

  220. I just reread this post today, clicking over to it from Sara’s recent post about her mother’s passing. Both posts made me cry. So beautiful and such a reminder that the small, daily things that I do with my children matter.

    I love the photos. The love is so evident in your mothers’ faces–I hope that my children see that in the photos of us together someday.

    My mom passed away from cancer when I was 19, and now that I am a mother, I miss her even more fiercely than I ever did before. I too feel the tug in my heart when I see my friends with their moms, and I too long to know what advice my mother would give me about parenting. I love the story about Kate reading her mother’s letters–oh how I wish my mother had kept a journal! I am an obsessive chronicler and journaler, and I sometimes wonder if this is why: because I know that life is fragile, and I want to record it all–capture it for my children.

    Thank you so much for sharing your hearts. My prayers are with you during this loss, Sara. xo

    1. Thank you Rachel. Hugs to you too, my dear. I am an obsessive chronicler as well and I totally think this is the reason why. I’ve always felt grateful for some of these hard experiences in a way because they caused me to realize the importance of that at a young age, and that is a blessing!

  221. I may be overreacting, but this post has meant so much to me tonight. I’ve been spending too much time online as I’ve been recovering from brain surgery. A few months back and ER doctor found that I had a brain tumor and I had surgery 6 weeks ago and then found out that I also need chemotherapy. It has been such an overwhelming process, especially because I can’t really care for my two little boys (1 and 4). My heart goes out to you both and I hope I will be around for a long time for my little guys.

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