This is the first in a series of posts about water safety. To read the post I wrote 1 1/2 years after the accident, click here. To learn more about water safety, check out this post.
I’ve literally spent the last few days agonizing about whether or not I should write this post for a number of reasons. I don’t want to make things weird between us. I feel like I’ve told this story over and over again and it feels weird to tell it again. I feel like I’m opening up a huge facet of my private life by sharing this story. I want to share information but not sound like an encyclopedia, and I want to make things personal but not have it sound like a bad Lifetime movie. So bear with me here.
I’ve gotta warn you guys that I can totally see how this can be a hard story to read, and that it might get under your skin. And I totally understand if you want to stop reading. But. I think what I have to share is important. I promise, because it’s something so intensely personal, I wouldn’t be sharing it if I didn’t think that it was important. I feel like if what I have to say can prevent even one accident like we had, it will be worth it.
I also ask that if you have something potentially unkind to say, to think really, really hard before you post it (and I subsequently delete it–just warning you now). I promise, there is nothing you can say to a parent in this situation that they haven’t already said to themselves.
Ready? Whew.
So as you guys know, Sara and I have been traveling a lot lately (and we just came back from our last trip! Woo-hoo!) We generally try to leave as late in the week as possible and come back on Sunday so we can be away from our families as little as possible, but it still takes its toll on everyone.
Last weekend, our event was in Salt Lake City and Sara had been planning on bringing her whole family. Through a series of kind of crazy and unusual circumstances (unexpected days off school, obscenely cheap airfare, unused frequent flier miles, a trip my dad and husband planned on taking together), we decided to bring our whole family as well. Sara’s and my kids completely adore each other and it was a chance for all of us to hang out for a few extra days and take a little mini vacation.
The night we got in, I was getting the kids ready for bed when Sara invited us to go swimming with them. I hadn’t brought my swimsuit and I didn’t really want to bring the baby in the water, but our kids were dying to see each other and hey, we were on a vacation. My kids have had a few summers’ worth of swimming lessons and can swim the length of the pool, so I wasn’t worried about playing around in the shallow end.
Here’s the thing. When it comes to water, bad things can happen quickly, and, unlike you see in TV and movies, those things are quiet. Here’s a fabulous article that talks about what drowning actually looks like and it’s something everyone should read and pass around to anyone who spends any time around water.
In our case, my oldest son was bouncing in an area where he could easily reach. And he did what anyone who’s spent a reasonable amount of time in a swimming pool has done–he landed where the pool started to slope. And it caught him off guard, and all it took was a gulp of water instead of air.
One of the reasons why I wanted to post this sooner rather than later was because KSL News in Salt Lake City did a story (you can read the whole thing here)Â on the teenage boy who pulled my son out of the water and I wanted to include it before the story and video are unavailable, largely because it spares me from personally having to share the harder details.
We’re not exactly sure how long he was underwater, but by piecing all the stories together and the fact that we were right there, it could have been anywhere from 1-3 minutes, but however long it was long enough to stop his heart and turn his skin blue. We really, truly could have lost him (and I thought we had).
After Greg pulled Clark out of the water, Sara’s husband gave him CPR and was able to revive him. He was rushed in an ambulance to Primary Children’s Medical Center where he spent a few hours in the ER and then was admitted to the PICU because he was having a hard time staying awake and his breathing was labored. Aside from the fact that hearing “ICU” is totally terrifying, it was really awful because I couldn’t stay with him (my husband did) because I had a nursing baby who wasnt allowed and there was no way for anyone else to feed him.
So I headed back to an empty hotel room quite literally in the middle of the night. And to say it sucked is the understatement of the century.
The next morning, he was much better and I was able to leave the baby with my husband and spend the morning with Clark in the ICU. They kept him long enough to get out of the danger zone and he left the hospital the day after the accident super tired with a cough, no appetite, and some antibiotics, but was otherwise completely fine (read: no brain damage).
In terms of facts and figures, I strongly encourage everyone to read the article I talked about earlier (and here it is again so you don’t have to go hunting for it). But I want to share, as a mom, some things to think about.
Kids aren’t as mature as we think they are. I think it’s easy to forget that bigger kids (like in the 6-10 range) are still pretty little kids, especially when you have younger kids in the mix. You’re used to relying on them to be mature and responsible, but in reality, they’re not as mature and responsible as we sometimes give them credit for. Additionally, Clark is my super-cautious rule-following kid; if I had to peg someone for a serious accident, it would have been my daughter.
Swim lessons (or floaties, or noodles, or life vests, or anything inflatable, or the presence of a lifeguard) are not a substitute for close supervision. I was there, keeping an eye on things, checking the pool, but I had a baby in my arms and friends I hadn’t seen in a long time and it had been a long day. Things literally happen in seconds and in the time it takes to run to the bathroom, have a serious phone conversation, deal with a fussy baby, listen to a child’s story, watch another kid jump off a diving board, or answer a text, it could be too late.
Supervision is not a substitute for excellent swimming skills. Like I said earlier, my kids have taken swimming lessons and Clark especially is a good little swimmer, but I think sometimes we forget that they don’t have the life experience necessary to not freak out if something catches them off guard. We’ve talked about the accident with him and told him he doesn’t need to get back in the pool tomorrow, or next week, or next month, but he does eventually need to continue with swim lessons and feeling comfortable in the pool.
Everyone should learn CPR. I don’t know what we would have done if Sara’s husband hadn’t been there that night. If I was hiring a babysitter and one of them was CPR-certified and the other one wasn’t, I’d most likely hire the CPR-certified babysitter, and yet I’ve been a mom for nearly 8 years and I haven’t had more than a brief overview of CPR a time or two as a teenager. I’m signing up for a CPR certification course ASAP so I never find myself in a situation where I couldn’t help someone who needed CPR. You can register for Red Cross classes here and even in my tiny community, there are a gazillion options available.
Don’t swim when you’re tired. My kids had been up late the night before in anticipation for our trip, then we’d been flying all day. It was an hour later for them than what the clock said and they were up way past their bedtime. Bad idea.
Don’t swim alone. That’s more for adults and teenagers, but even good, experienced swimmers can underestimate how close they are to a pool wall and hit their head or experience any number of other little accidents that normally wouldn’t be a big deal, but when you’re dealing with water, they become a big deal.
We all think it’s not going to happen to us. It’s so hard to strike a balance between being neurotic and thinking things aren’t going to happen to us; neither one is a good thing. Car accidents happen to bad drivers and water accidents happen to neglectful parents. Except that they don’t…they can happen to anyone. This accident has been a wake-up call for safety in all areas of my life, not to a point where I’m crazy, but it’s just reminded me that there are easy things I can do to make things safer: Water safety, locking doors, unplugging appliances, using car seats and boosters properly, not running the dryer when I’m not at home or while we’re sleeping, making sure our fire and carbon monoxide detectors are working properly, and ignoring the fact that my text alert has beeped 6 times in 2 minutes while I’m driving. You don’t have to live in fear, but a little caution goes a long way.
Thankfully, within 48 hours, he was nearly his old little self. Here’s a picture of Clark (the one with Perry the Platypus) and Sara’s little boy Tyler two nights after it happened.
and all the OBB kiddos (minus Baby Will)…
As for us, we’re doing fine. Clark had a little freak-out the night he was discharged from the hospital, but he seems to be handling it really well. Generally, I’m good, although I’ve been busy. Sometimes in a quiet moment, those scary images and “what if” thoughts creep into my head, and sometimes they completely blindside me when I’m out and about and they kind of take my breath away. I’m just so very grateful to all the people who happened to be there that night–Eric (Sara’s husband), Greg (the awesome teenager), Nate (who helped Eric), Sara (who kept me from completely and totally losing it and who drove me to and from the hospital a few times in the middle of the night), the nice ladies who held Will, the paramedics, ER staff, and Jen the ICU nurse who Clark is completely enamored with.
For those of you little detectives that figured out what happened after I posted last week and have sent such sweet comments, emails, thoughts, and prayers, I appreciate them so much. Thank you guys from the bottom of my heart for being such fabulous, supportive blog readers.Thank you for sticking with me through such a heavy blog post! I hope sharing our experiences will help keep your families and loved ones safe!
Questions & Reviews
I can imagine this was hard to share, but with your reach, you are doing great good. Prayers and hugs your way.
Oh wow. I am so sorry for your experience and so thankful that all turned out so well! Thank you for sharing. What a terrifying experience for all of you!
Thank you for your story. I life guarded for six years and have made many rescues. People just don’t realize how dangerous water can be. I once rescued a six year old boy who could not swim who was holding his older brother and father under the water with him, both of which could swim. I often get teased at family events that are near water because I have a hard time relaxing.
I am grateful for your post and grateful for the safety of your son.
So sorry this happened and so glad it turned out well. LOVE you comments about supervision, swimming lessons, etc.
Thank you for being so brave & sharing your story & links with your readers. The big guy upstairs was definitely watching out for all of you that day. My new saying is “Every day when we wake up we have another list of things to be thankful for.”
I am so thankful your son is well. Thank you for posting this!
I know it was difficult to share this, but thank you. It’s a great reminder for all of us. I’m so glad he’s okay!
Wow! Kate, thanks so much for sharing your story. My heart goes out to you and your family. I am so glad to hear that things turned out ok. Sending hugs and happy thoughts your way!
Love to you all!
What a horrible wake-up call. So glad your son is okay, and so appreciative that you turned such a terrifying incident into an opportunity to educate others. God Bless you and your family.
Wow, I’m so sorry you guys had to go through this but so glad everything turned out okay. When I was a toddler we had a family party around a pool. There were a lot of people there and a lot of people watching me and yet I still managed to fall in the spa. My grandma saw and jumped fully clothed in to get me. I wasn’t in long enough to have lost consciousness but it still scared everyone. Accidents happen in a split second and can happen to anyone. I’m glad you’re using this experience to help not only your family but others try and avoid some accidents. I know it can be tough to share experiences like this, especially with strangers on the internet, but hopefully it’ll help save some more lives.
Thank you, Thank you, THANK YOU for posting that! I have recently purchased an I-phone, and I am always texting on it while driving down the freeway. I give some thought to the safety of myself and my children, but, I usually push it to the side assuring myself that I am a good driver, and I would not get into an accident because of this. This story goes to show how the smallest things can have such a huge impact. I will not text and drive anymore. Thank you for sharing!
Bless your heart! I can’t even imagine! Glad everything turned out well.
What a blessing to have your boy alive and well. A couple years ago, our daughter almost drowned in a river. The two men who jumped in to save her, were not the best swimmers (our girl was better than them, even though she was only 7). It taught me the importance that even adults need to swim well. If you have children, make sure you can save them. I hope your son a fast recovery. He’ll probably be scared of water for awhile. our girl still is.
I just bawled reading this and then bawled some more watching the video. I am so glad your son is okay. I have always been really paranoid about kids and water. I have a cousin who was a really strong swimmer and nearly drowned (4 minutes underwater) at the age of 16. It really can happen to anyone. Thank you for sharing this. Hopefully your tips will help keep some little ones safe.
God Bless you and your idle thoughts as I’m sure this will consume them for quite some time. You are a WONDERFUL mother and thank you for sharing your story, a story that could happen to anyone.
PTL he is fine!
Great reminders all around…even for Grandmothers, like me. Glad all is well. Kudos to Greg for listening to the Spirit.
I am very glad you shared your story. It’s a incredibly helpful reminder to all parents and caregivers. Thank God for the boy who helped, CPR being remembered and administered in time, and excellent medical care. Hug him a little tighter each day. I know I will hug my two that way in honor of your family. Take care!
thank you for sharing your story! No rude comments or judgements here – it can happen to any of us and more times than not, I’ve realized that life changes in a matter of seconds. So happy that yours had a happy ending!
I know this is one comment of a million, but I had no idea this happened to you. I’m so glad your little boy is ok. And from a mom who has spent significant time in the PICU at Primary’s, my heart goes out to you. All someone has to say is “PICU” and I am instantly transported back. You’re a good mom, I’m glad you had angels watching over you.
Thank you, Stacy!
hugs to you and your family. I read that story on KSL when it came out. Didn’t piece together who it was. Glad all is well.
I was in the middle of reading this and got all teary when the FEDEX guy came to my door HA! I can’t believe that anyone would actually leave negative or mean comments here. This could happen to ANYBODY! It happened to my son a few years ago when he was five and it still haunts me. I am so glad your little boy is ok!
I’m sitting here, teary-eyed, while reading your experience. We never know what’s around the corner, and this could happen to ANY ONE! I pray you’re receiving nothing but love from your blog-readers, and shame on those who would judge you. I believe we will be judged as we judge! I’m so grateful that you had and continue to have such an awesome support system of friends and family, and those strangers who happened to be around the evening this happened. God is so gracious and generous to us…celebrate Thanksgiving this year with extra gusto!
Wow, Kate, I saw that story on KSL when it first came out and I said a little prayer thanking God for the presence and presence of mind of the young man who pulled the boy from the pool. I am so glad things worked out in the best possible way.
Does anyone know how to get CPR certified less expensively than through the Red Cross classes? I used to be certified, and it bugs me now that I am not, but I just can’t afford the class fees.
I went to a local fire department with a youth group for a church activity and the EMT’s and Medics taught us all for free. You might be able to try that route.
Thank you.. truly thank you for posting this and reminding every one of us that you can never be too careful. I am sitting here in tears because I had a moment this past summer when my 3 year old went under and panicked and thank the Lord, I was actually standing right next to him and was able to jump in for him before he even swallowed enough water to go unconscious… but 5 minutes before that, I wasn’t standing right there. I was distracted… and it hit me so hard how quickly that could have gone so badly. It absolutely does happen to good parents… and sometimes even if you do everything by the book, things can still happen… I’m so sorry you had to experience such a dreadful experience but praise God it has a happy ending and again, thank you for allowing all of us to learn from it.
I’m so sorry you had to go through this an I’m so grateful it turned out as good as it did. I hope you don’t get rude comments. My sister’s friend (a very attentive mother) recently lost her son from complications from a near drowning. I was infuriated with the extremely cruel comments people left on the news article (why do they even have the option for people to post comments on things like that?). Accidents can happen in the blink of an eye and to anyone. How scary!
How scary! I’m so glad your son is okay and so sorry you had to go through such a terrifying experience. I was a lifeguard for many years and it’s crazy how quickly things can get bad… So great to hear there were people there to help and such a good reminder how careful we need to be. Thanks for sharing.
I hope no one has sent you any mean messages! This could have happened to any one of us. Thank you for sharing and the reminder. We also had a scary experience last week with my son and those “what if’s” are always in the back of my mind. I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving season!
It’s horrible but it happens. I was in a hot tub with the kids and talking to my sister. My littlest (2yrs) had been very needy that day and while we were in the hot tub (it was pool temperature) she kept jumping in my lap and whining. I set her to stand next to me. I wasn’t looking at her, but we were touching bodies so I felt her moving next to me, kicking, patting my shoulder….I felt like I was watching over her. The next thing I know my other child shouts: Rachel is drowning! She was RIGHT NEXT TO ME–TOUCHING ME! But what I had mistaken for jumping around was actually head under the water flailing around. We lifted her up and she was absolutely fine, but it brought home that water is serious and it’s harder than I thought to keep an eye on things. I’m sorry you had to go through it and I know how guilty you must feel. A big hug to you and your boy!
Oh, my goodness, that is SO SCARY. Something similar happened with my dad and my brother when my brother was about 5.