This is the first in a series of posts about water safety. To read the post I wrote 1 1/2 years after the accident, click here. To learn more about water safety, check out this post.
I’ve literally spent the last few days agonizing about whether or not I should write this post for a number of reasons. I don’t want to make things weird between us. I feel like I’ve told this story over and over again and it feels weird to tell it again. I feel like I’m opening up a huge facet of my private life by sharing this story. I want to share information but not sound like an encyclopedia, and I want to make things personal but not have it sound like a bad Lifetime movie. So bear with me here.
I’ve gotta warn you guys that I can totally see how this can be a hard story to read, and that it might get under your skin. And I totally understand if you want to stop reading. But. I think what I have to share is important. I promise, because it’s something so intensely personal, I wouldn’t be sharing it if I didn’t think that it was important. I feel like if what I have to say can prevent even one accident like we had, it will be worth it.
I also ask that if you have something potentially unkind to say, to think really, really hard before you post it (and I subsequently delete it–just warning you now). I promise, there is nothing you can say to a parent in this situation that they haven’t already said to themselves.
Ready? Whew.
So as you guys know, Sara and I have been traveling a lot lately (and we just came back from our last trip! Woo-hoo!) We generally try to leave as late in the week as possible and come back on Sunday so we can be away from our families as little as possible, but it still takes its toll on everyone.
Last weekend, our event was in Salt Lake City and Sara had been planning on bringing her whole family. Through a series of kind of crazy and unusual circumstances (unexpected days off school, obscenely cheap airfare, unused frequent flier miles, a trip my dad and husband planned on taking together), we decided to bring our whole family as well. Sara’s and my kids completely adore each other and it was a chance for all of us to hang out for a few extra days and take a little mini vacation.
The night we got in, I was getting the kids ready for bed when Sara invited us to go swimming with them. I hadn’t brought my swimsuit and I didn’t really want to bring the baby in the water, but our kids were dying to see each other and hey, we were on a vacation. My kids have had a few summers’ worth of swimming lessons and can swim the length of the pool, so I wasn’t worried about playing around in the shallow end.
Here’s the thing. When it comes to water, bad things can happen quickly, and, unlike you see in TV and movies, those things are quiet. Here’s a fabulous article that talks about what drowning actually looks like and it’s something everyone should read and pass around to anyone who spends any time around water.
In our case, my oldest son was bouncing in an area where he could easily reach. And he did what anyone who’s spent a reasonable amount of time in a swimming pool has done–he landed where the pool started to slope. And it caught him off guard, and all it took was a gulp of water instead of air.
One of the reasons why I wanted to post this sooner rather than later was because KSL News in Salt Lake City did a story (you can read the whole thing here)Â on the teenage boy who pulled my son out of the water and I wanted to include it before the story and video are unavailable, largely because it spares me from personally having to share the harder details.
We’re not exactly sure how long he was underwater, but by piecing all the stories together and the fact that we were right there, it could have been anywhere from 1-3 minutes, but however long it was long enough to stop his heart and turn his skin blue. We really, truly could have lost him (and I thought we had).
After Greg pulled Clark out of the water, Sara’s husband gave him CPR and was able to revive him. He was rushed in an ambulance to Primary Children’s Medical Center where he spent a few hours in the ER and then was admitted to the PICU because he was having a hard time staying awake and his breathing was labored. Aside from the fact that hearing “ICU” is totally terrifying, it was really awful because I couldn’t stay with him (my husband did) because I had a nursing baby who wasnt allowed and there was no way for anyone else to feed him.
So I headed back to an empty hotel room quite literally in the middle of the night. And to say it sucked is the understatement of the century.
The next morning, he was much better and I was able to leave the baby with my husband and spend the morning with Clark in the ICU. They kept him long enough to get out of the danger zone and he left the hospital the day after the accident super tired with a cough, no appetite, and some antibiotics, but was otherwise completely fine (read: no brain damage).
In terms of facts and figures, I strongly encourage everyone to read the article I talked about earlier (and here it is again so you don’t have to go hunting for it). But I want to share, as a mom, some things to think about.
Kids aren’t as mature as we think they are. I think it’s easy to forget that bigger kids (like in the 6-10 range) are still pretty little kids, especially when you have younger kids in the mix. You’re used to relying on them to be mature and responsible, but in reality, they’re not as mature and responsible as we sometimes give them credit for. Additionally, Clark is my super-cautious rule-following kid; if I had to peg someone for a serious accident, it would have been my daughter.
Swim lessons (or floaties, or noodles, or life vests, or anything inflatable, or the presence of a lifeguard) are not a substitute for close supervision. I was there, keeping an eye on things, checking the pool, but I had a baby in my arms and friends I hadn’t seen in a long time and it had been a long day. Things literally happen in seconds and in the time it takes to run to the bathroom, have a serious phone conversation, deal with a fussy baby, listen to a child’s story, watch another kid jump off a diving board, or answer a text, it could be too late.
Supervision is not a substitute for excellent swimming skills. Like I said earlier, my kids have taken swimming lessons and Clark especially is a good little swimmer, but I think sometimes we forget that they don’t have the life experience necessary to not freak out if something catches them off guard. We’ve talked about the accident with him and told him he doesn’t need to get back in the pool tomorrow, or next week, or next month, but he does eventually need to continue with swim lessons and feeling comfortable in the pool.
Everyone should learn CPR. I don’t know what we would have done if Sara’s husband hadn’t been there that night. If I was hiring a babysitter and one of them was CPR-certified and the other one wasn’t, I’d most likely hire the CPR-certified babysitter, and yet I’ve been a mom for nearly 8 years and I haven’t had more than a brief overview of CPR a time or two as a teenager. I’m signing up for a CPR certification course ASAP so I never find myself in a situation where I couldn’t help someone who needed CPR. You can register for Red Cross classes here and even in my tiny community, there are a gazillion options available.
Don’t swim when you’re tired. My kids had been up late the night before in anticipation for our trip, then we’d been flying all day. It was an hour later for them than what the clock said and they were up way past their bedtime. Bad idea.
Don’t swim alone. That’s more for adults and teenagers, but even good, experienced swimmers can underestimate how close they are to a pool wall and hit their head or experience any number of other little accidents that normally wouldn’t be a big deal, but when you’re dealing with water, they become a big deal.
We all think it’s not going to happen to us. It’s so hard to strike a balance between being neurotic and thinking things aren’t going to happen to us; neither one is a good thing. Car accidents happen to bad drivers and water accidents happen to neglectful parents. Except that they don’t…they can happen to anyone. This accident has been a wake-up call for safety in all areas of my life, not to a point where I’m crazy, but it’s just reminded me that there are easy things I can do to make things safer: Water safety, locking doors, unplugging appliances, using car seats and boosters properly, not running the dryer when I’m not at home or while we’re sleeping, making sure our fire and carbon monoxide detectors are working properly, and ignoring the fact that my text alert has beeped 6 times in 2 minutes while I’m driving. You don’t have to live in fear, but a little caution goes a long way.
Thankfully, within 48 hours, he was nearly his old little self. Here’s a picture of Clark (the one with Perry the Platypus) and Sara’s little boy Tyler two nights after it happened.
and all the OBB kiddos (minus Baby Will)…
As for us, we’re doing fine. Clark had a little freak-out the night he was discharged from the hospital, but he seems to be handling it really well. Generally, I’m good, although I’ve been busy. Sometimes in a quiet moment, those scary images and “what if” thoughts creep into my head, and sometimes they completely blindside me when I’m out and about and they kind of take my breath away. I’m just so very grateful to all the people who happened to be there that night–Eric (Sara’s husband), Greg (the awesome teenager), Nate (who helped Eric), Sara (who kept me from completely and totally losing it and who drove me to and from the hospital a few times in the middle of the night), the nice ladies who held Will, the paramedics, ER staff, and Jen the ICU nurse who Clark is completely enamored with.
For those of you little detectives that figured out what happened after I posted last week and have sent such sweet comments, emails, thoughts, and prayers, I appreciate them so much. Thank you guys from the bottom of my heart for being such fabulous, supportive blog readers.Thank you for sticking with me through such a heavy blog post! I hope sharing our experiences will help keep your families and loved ones safe!
Questions & Reviews
so teary. I’m so sorry this happened to your sweet family. In no way could anyone think less of you! So grateful for the outcome!
Oh Kate, my heart just aches for you. As mothers we just want to protect our kids from all the hurt, pain and tragedy that comes with this earthly life. What a blessing that your sweet Clark is safe and that you were surrounded by the right people at the right time. Thank you so much for your bravery in sharing this story and for your important reminders. I’m signing up for a CPR class as soon as I post this comment. Think of all the lives that may be saved because of the awareness created by Clark’s story.
Thank you so much for sharing. Your right, it is definitely a great reminder to us all, and how quickly and easily something can happen. I am thankful that everyone in your beautiful family is ok.
My heart goes out to you and your family. Haven’t been able to stop thinking about this much at all since I read your post yesterday. Hard to really fathom what you went through. Thank you for sharing this. My youngest two girls (6 and 7) are very shy and are frightened of swimming lessons. Almost as afraid as I am of CPR classes. But after reading it I will see to it that both swimming lessons and CPR certification are completed, and soon.
Oh my…what a scary situation…I am celebrating your lucky outcome. Hugs to all of you!
My dad was a cement finisher for over 40 years, and put in allot of pools. Accidents like your son had are very common in pools with steeply sloping walls, especially in hotels, where people aren’t familiar with their surroundings. I am so glad your son is okay—that type of pool shouldn’t be put in a hotel to begin with, and there should have been signs posted.
Oh my, I am so glad he is okay. My heart aches that you even had to experience that. And there is no criticism at all…that could happen to anyone! Thank you for the reminder to be more aware and more safe. I have three little boys that I have taken to the pool many times. Thank you, thank you for the reminder.
I’m so sorry to hear your family such a terrible experience. I’m glad your son wasn’t more seriously hurt. You are in my thoughts and prayers!
glad that things worked out so well– i have treated many near-drowning kids and the “worst case scenario” is a very tragic life indeed… all of their parents were loving, doting parents with the same “it only took a second” horror story. makes you really appreciate every moment you have in life when you realize how quickly something can go wrong.
I’m so sorry you all went through that experience, but so glad it was a happy ending! I watched you and Sara on the live streaming event last weekend. Thank you for sharing your lives with all of us. Your posts are a happy point in every week. God bless you!
Kate,
I too know all too well your experience. Last year my three year old fell in the pool. Thankfully my husband was in the backyard pushing my oldest on the swings when he noticed my youngest not in sight. I saw him dash across the yard and by the time I got out there, he was pulling my baby out of the pool. My heart dropped. He wasnt under for more than 10-20 seconds, but that was 10-20 seconds too long. I will never forget the look of terror on his face as he was trying to figure out how to breathe. I was so ashamed as a parent and thought I was a failure because in my mind “this could never happen to us because we are very observant parents.” Well it did and I didn’t tell anyone about it for a long time because of embarrassment. However, I realize it cand and does happen to even the most observant in a blink of an eye. Thankfully, he had been is swim lessons and he knew to flip over and that bought him precious second before he went under. Thank you for sharing this story and I am so glad that your baby boy is okay. Thank you for the links to the articles as well.
With tears in my eyes can I just tell you how glad I am that you had a happy outcome. It’s a wake up call to all of us to be just a little extra careful when it come to the ones we love. Linda
Wow, what a frightening thing!! I know all too well how quickly things can go bad, having witnessed a couple close calls this summer at our local pool. Just the turn of the head for a few seconds can be enough! I am so glad everything turned out ok and that, that teenager followed the promptings of the spirit, because that is truly what it was. Thank you for sharing!
So thankful things end well for Clark and your family. Thank you for sharing your experience and the link on what drowning looks like. Good information and/or reminders for all of us.
Hi Kate, Thank you for sharing your story with us all. So happy to hear that all is well with Clark! What a truly terrifying experience. I’ve had a similar experience at the lake with my middle child. I can relate and again am glad that everything turn out well for your family.
The information posted at the end of the story is extremely helpful to everyone with little ones and those who watch children. I am a big advocate for floaties, life vests, etc for the youngsters and helmets on jet skis for the pre-teens. Best wishes to your families and thanks again for sharing a your personal (but very informative) story.
Oh Kate! What an ordeal you’ve been through. That hospital separation would have upset me, too. I think you did the right thing with your disclosure just to reassure your readers since the event was published in the paper.
Don’t go back and second-guess all your reasons for deciding to go to the pool with your friends. You made the right choice for all the right reasons. Clark is alive after a freak accident and the help of your dear friend saved him. Let the rest go. Love your children, love your friends, love life.
Thank you so much for your sweet words, Lark!
Thank you so much for being brave enough to tell this story. I just forwarded it on to my daughter, because she uses her cell phone while she drives. My grandchildren are 13 and 10, and they are the light of my life. I have begged my daughter not to use her phone in the car, to no avail. I hope your story will open her eyes. What a blessing that it turned out all right for you. I am so grateful to you. Please know what a blessing you are to your followers.
Kate, so sorry you had to go through such a horrific event. Thank you for reminding me to pay closer attention.
Thank you so much for sharing and for the article link. A good reminder to us all.
Wow, I was literally shaking when I watched the story on the news. I cannot imagine how horrifying it must have been. I’m so glad he is okay now. Thanks for speaking out and reminding us all that we need to remember to be extra cautious with our kids in every situation.
I am so thankful that he was okay after that horrifying experience. Kids have accidents so quickly, and the toll it takes on the child and the parents is horrible. I myself almost drowned at the age of 7.
The man who wrote that article (Mario Vittone) also has a Facebook page and a personal website with AMAZING advice for everything involved in any water safety. I have read through his stuff multiple times.
I’m so glad your boy is okay. That is terrifying. Bless you and your family.
I am so relieved that you had a good outcome. The article you linked to was excellent and I’m so glad I’ve read it. Thank you for sharing your experience, it will save a life.
Oh my heck how scary, I can’t even imagine. SO So glad that he is okay.
Blessings and hugs to you. You must have been so very scared – all of you. No judgement here – just joy that everyone is okay.
Thoughts and prayers to all of you!
Clark is adorable~all of the children are. I’m so glad this had a happy ending, what a miracle and a tender mercy from God. Thank you for sharing. I’m going to learn CPR and share this with all of my friends as well. I love your blog and have a great time making delicious food for my family. If only those desserts could be calorie free….. Lots of love to you and your family.
I`m so sorry that you had to go through this horrible experience. Please do not blame yourself, I know the pain of watching your child not being able to breath and wondering if they will live, and now is a time to be thankful for Heavenly Father and those he has put in your life in this unfortunate situation. Thank you for being brave and sharing with us all. I wish you and your son all the best.
I am so sorry that you had to experience this. Thanks for the reminders because it really can happen to any of us.
Kate- I rarely comment but am a faithful OBB follower. Thank you for having the courage to share. So glad the outcome was what it was. Sending prayers!
I can’t imagine any unkind comment. The only thing to be said is thank goodness your son is okay. And hopefully your poor heart will mend – I imagine it was all too terrifying. Accidents happen and luckily everything was in place to have a happy ending.